- "You know what I like about Gex? Consistency."
- ―Jeb Jab[src]
Jebediah "Jeb" Jab is a character in the Scott The Woz series. He was formerly a part of the Vegans Anonymous Gathering and was the assistant to Terry Lesler, but as of Borderline Forever he is no longer a vegan as he likes Gex. He made his first appearance A Very Madden 08 Christmas and has since become a major character in the series. He is played by Sam Essig.
- 1 Personality
- 2 In A Very Madden 08 Christmas
- 3 In The Great Mysteries of Gaming
- 4 In It's A Bargain Bin Christmas
- 5 In The Dark Age of Nintendo
- 6 In The Trial
- 7 In Mario Party (N64) - Party Hard
- 8 In Memory Cards
- 9 In Personal Trainer: Cooking
- 10 In You're Not an RPG Guy
- 11 In Borderline Forever
- 12 In Gaming Revivals
- 13 In Toys to Life
- 14 In Mario Party 2 - Party Harder
- 15 In The Funeral
- 16 In The Gifts of Gaming
- 17 Trivia
- 18 References
While Jeb Jab may sound calm and collected in his voice, he can get pretty agitated and angry at points, willing to unzip Scott Wozniak's jacket and verbally asking for a restraining order. Starting in Animal Crossing: amiibo Festival | The Dark Age of Nintendo, Jab has shown a liking towards the video game series Gex.
Jab firsts meets Scott Wozniak when he enters the V.A.G house, seen drinking "vegan coffee". While Wozniak is introducing himself, Jab notices something suspicious about him and unzips his jacket to reveal a gallon of milk taped to Wozniak's body.
Wozniak then tries to make up for this stunt by showing them the Xbox 360, GameCube and Wii versions of Madden 08, to which Jab and Terry Lesler don't really like. Wozniak gets very angry at this, and goes to Target to steal all copies of Madden 18.
Wozniak comes back and throws a bag with those copies into the fridge, and runs back out and locks the door behind him before Jab and Lesler could ask what he was doing. Later Officerery Smith and Cop #2 break into the house to find the copies of Madden 18 and interrogate the "bandits"
Thankfully, Madden 28 was announced and the price of Madden 18 dropped tenfold, so they were let off the hook. Scott Wozniak apologizes to Jab and Terry Lesler, and in response, Jab asks for a restraining order against Scott Wozniak, which Wozniak willingly agrees with.
Jab goes to Chet Shaft's dinner party. He Splits up with Terry Lesler and Rex Mohs to see who the killer is. He leaves after Mohs and Lesler get into an argument. While leaving, he is pushed down the stairs and is "murdered" by officer Steel Wool. He then yells "I died" to let the gant know he was murdered. He is then seen in a pile with the rest of the murder victims at the end of the episode. He is given treatment at an unnamed hospital where he successfully recovered from murder.
In order to get himself out of finacial debt, Scott hosts a charity event for everyone that was murdered at Shaft's dinner party by Wool and got treated for death at the hospital, which includes Jab. To help sweeten the deal for him and Lesler, Scott laced their meat with tofu. Jab claims that he hates it due to it reminding him of being murdered, because of the sign welcoming murder victims. While Jab and everyone else opens gifts from Scott, they find that they're all games from a bargain bin, leaving them confused and disappointed. Jab mentions that he's been murdered too many times to accept LEGO Dimensions, possibly implying that he's been murdered at least one or two other times before the dinner party. Just before Scott was about to storm out, Rex Mohs started choking on water, due to overhydration from the small water bottles, prompting Jab to shout "Somebody get him some sand!". After thinking about the gifts that Jab and the others got, they all start to realize that there is a use for some of these games. A little soon after, Jab notices a reciept on the table from when Scott sold his desk to fund the event. After Scott walks back in, he appologizes to everyone for treating them badly with the gifts. Jab and the others then appologize to Scott for not being greatful for the gifts he gave them, and then hand him soft gifts in return. Jab's gift to Scott was a copy of Battleborn, which was also the same as the gift that he first opened from Scott.
Jab appears in every episode of the sub-series as someone who is invited over by Scott Wozniak to play "bad" Nintendo first-party games from 2015.
In the first episode, Jab shows up to New Location McGee when Wozniak falsely informs him and Rex Mohs that they will be playing Gex: Enter the Gecko, a game Jab has shown a liking to, when they will, in reality, be playing Animal Crossing: Amiibo Festival.
In the second episode, Jab is invited over to New Location McGee to be informed how his uncle just died, when in reality it's to trick them into playing Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash, he mishears it and thinks they will be playing Gex again. When he gets there, Wozniak asks him why he thought they were going to be playing Gex, seeing as the call was about his uncle dying, to which Jab is shocked to hear he died for the third time.
In the final episode, Jab is invited over to New Location McGee to play Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash, however, Jab mishears Wozniak's message and believed that they would be playing Gex. Later when the main cast of the episode go in the sewers to retrieve the copies of Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash that Wozniak has thrown down his toilet, they're attacked by an unnamed monster comprised out of copies of the game. Jab was the first to be captured by the monster, as he believed it was Gex and that it would be harmless.
Later when Jab (along with the rest of the captured) are freed from the sewer monster, they go back to New Location McGee where they talk before they decide to play Gex: Enter the Gecko, which Jab's expresses heavy interest in. However upon playing, Jab doesn't recognize the game and is seemingly disgusted by it.
In The Trial
Jab arrives at New Location McGee to discuss the lawsuit against Steel Wool along with Scott Wozniak, Rex Mohs, Terry Lesler, and Wendy's Employee. After a carpool, they (along with Wool) arrive at the courthouse, named The Litigation Station.
Jab is the second person to be called to the stand, where's he's questioned about the veganism of being murdered by Wool's lawyer, Liza Lotts, which Jab responds to by saying that he believes it allowed. Lotts criticizes how being murdered is allowed in veganism, which Jab agrees with. Lotts proceeds the cross-examination by saying that Jab's and the others' accusations against Steel Wool hurt him, which Jab apologizes for. Lotts ends the cross-examination by asking Jab if he thinks Steel Wool murdered Jab and the others, which Jab answers by saying that he doesn't.
During Wozniak's cross-examination, Jab, Lesler, and Mohs discuss how the 6 justices of the Supreme Court may show up at the trial as Mohs had prior connection to them. Jab joins the conversation by saying that he also knows the justices of the Supreme Court, as they're cousins. Lesler then realizes that due to their connection to the justices of the Supreme Court, they can threaten Wool into confessing. The threat works and Wool admits to the murder of Jab, Lesler, Mohs, Wendy's Employee, and Chet Shaft. The unnamed presiding judge then proceeds to sentence Steel Wool death.
In Memory Cards
After being invited and arriving at Scott Wozniak's Halloween and pumpkin party, Jab is questioned by Wozniak if he went as a doorway pirate (which Wozniak assumed due to Jab wearing a pirate hat), however, Jab corrects him and says that he went as Gex. As Jab is about to enter New Location McGee, he's stopped by Wozniak who says that Jab can't enter unless he has fruit. Jab attempts to be let in by showing the attendees of the party lemons, cantaloupes, and oranges, however, he's rejected with each fruit. Jab then shows Wozniak a memory card for the Xbox 360, and he lets him in.
When talking about memory cards, Wozniak suggests that they should check the data on pre-owned memory cards he had bought, which they do. Upon checking two Nintendo GameCube memory cards, the attendees of the party find out that they have the same contents, which they find "odd". They then check another memory card, where they find save data from The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. Upon opening the save data, they find that the first save file inside the game is named "hELP", which Wozniak thought could be a code for the name Jim. They proceed to check another Nintendo GameCube memory card, and once they open it, they found out it has 15 and possibly more saves of Vivarium's 2006 game Odama.
After checking the 4th memory card, Rex Mohs suggests that they should leave New Location McGee, which all the other attendees agree with. Upon attempting to leave, the door closes and locks, which Wozniak believed was due to a rat.
After finding out that memory card support was removed in later models of the Xbox 360, the attendees run into Wozniak's room while screaming. After discussing what to do, a memory card is stabbed into Wendy's Employee's leg, killing him. After discussing more memory cards, Mohs says that the events remind him of outside. Wozniak then, after hearing Mohs talking about being outside, believes that if they get the ghost outside, they'll be able to stop it. Terry Lesler then says that if they want to bring the ghost outside, they need to stun it with something "big, bulky, and orange." Wozniak realizes that the pumpkin he had bought from the Lesler Pumpkin Orchard fits Lesler's description, and uses it to stun the ghost. After Wozniak stunned the ghost with the pumpkin, Mohs attempts to throw the ghost out of a window, however, he misses his first throw due to the mirror over his face obstructing his vision. After successfully throwing out the ghost, Wozniak ends the party.
Jab appears as one of Scott's guests at his Thanksgiving dinner, along with Rex Mohs. Jab is amazed to see that there was both food and plates at the dinner. After not being excited for Scott's food preparations, Jab decides that they should eat out for dinner, which promts Mohs to suggest the new restaurant that opened up downtown, Stale Pretzels. When Jab asks what they have there, Rex tells him that he doesn't know.
Terry Lesler, Jerry Attricks, Rex Mohs, Target Employee, and Kay Swiss are trying to convince Scott to become an RPG guy. Scott mostly resists so they have to tie him up to try and talk some sense into him. They don't quite know what an RPG is but they don't let Scott explain himself. As everyone starts to understand what an RPG is they find it more confusing on why Scott doesn't like them. Scott sings a song on why he doesn't like RPG's but has yet to convince them. Each person gets to say a few sentences on why Scott should play RPG's while Scott talks about why he still doesn't like them. Kay Swiss tries to convince Scott that he's hurting the economy by telling people to not buy RPG's as he keeps buying them but not playing them.
After awhile Jeb Jab appears at Scott's apartment, but he was late to arrive because he was working. He is seen as an RPG delivery man and delivers RPG's to people to stimulate the economy. He's doing this so that people can become RPG guys when they grow up. He hands Scott a copy of Madden 08 for the Xbox 360 as he thinks it's an RPG. Scott gets terrified because Madden 08 is his favorite Madden game, and he now realizes that it might have been an RPG this entire time. In shock and fear he runs to his office and tries to settle down and appreciate RPG's so that he can enjoy games again.
Afterwards, Terry Lesler calls for a Flingsmash delivery because he thinks it will cheer Scott up, and he duct tapes Target Employee's mouth to make him shut up about ribs. Jeb Jab comes back for the second delivery of the day and gives the FlingSmash copy to Terry Lesler. He says that an RPG could mean a lot of different things and offers the group a copy of Gex.
When Scott comes back from talking to God, he goes through all of his RPG's and swears at them. The group watches Scott bashing all of his RPG's and most are disappointed in him and leave except for Terry Lesler, as he smiles because he's proud of Scott.
In Borderline Forever
Jab's first appearance in this episode is during the opening musical number, Stupid Nintendo Games, where he is shocked to find that one of the games Scott shared with him was "Gex".
He later appears during the hospital scene, where Scott has a private conversation with him, and he mentions to Scott that he wants to quit being a vegan becuase of his love for Gex, but doesn't want to hurt Terry Lesler, due to being his loyal assistant. After Scott finishes talking with Jab, as well as the rest of the visitors, he tries to convince Jab and the others that there's a border affecting him. They then laugh at that idea and walk out the door, only to find that they actually do start seeing the border too.
After Scott checks out of the hospital, they all meet up at New Location McGee, to form Team F*cked. From there on, everyone starts brainstorming ideas on how to get the word out about the border. During the meeting, Lesler mentions to Jab that once this is all over, they can go back to being vegans. But Jab tries to get Lesler's opinion on lizards. In response, Lesler says they're "good for looking, but not for eating", prompting Jab to correct him and say he means it as a hobby. Lesler questions Jab's need for a hobby, on the count of him being a vegan. Later on, Jab, along with Terry Lesler, Target Employee, and Jerry Attricks, go around town spreading the word about the border by handing out flyers.
After that plan fails, Jab meets up with the rest of Team F*cked back at New Location McGee, where they all see their failed attempts making the news on TV. Not too long after the that, another news report shows the rest of Ohio being affected by the border. From there, they all decide to try and find out what's causing the border in the first place. Scott comes up with a plan to go to space, but the rest of Team F*cked, including Jab, are not very fond of that idea. But then Scott tells everyone that they won't be able to follow their restrictive tropes if there's no world left, and tells Jab that there won't be anything but Gex, and anything but Gex is Gex. Scott then starts singing a motivational song about saving the world, while assembling the Hour of Variety, which ends with Lesler simply saying "Sure", and everyone, including Jab else decides to be apart of this mission as well.
Once everyone boards ship, Scott assigns everyone an important role, and Jab is assign the role of "treasurer". While the crew is in space, the ship gets attacked by Brett Favre, and the Green Bay Packers board the ship. Scott then tells everyone that the best way to win this battle is to be the best "them" they can be. As everyone prepares for battle, Jab pulls out his gun, which he mentioned earlier that he bought for murder, but when Target Employee asks him "Is that a gun?!", he corrects him and says it's "Gex". To end the fight, Vince Young swoops in to defeat Favre and save Scott, Jab, and the others and wish them good luck.
Eventually, the crew arrives at a border-shaped object and steps inside. While investigating, Jab and the others, except Scott, find a printer ink cartridge on the floor and end up getting trapped by the border. The border then starts going on a speech how he's eternal life, which prompts Scott to realize that the opposite is virginity, and attack him using the games used to build the ship and his copies of Madden 08. Once the border is defeated, Lesler and the others are freed.
After Scott absorbs the border, the crew returns to Earth, and they find that everyone is safe. Jab finally decides to tell Lesler that he choses no longer to be a vegan, because he really loves Gex. Lesler accepts Jab's choice, while offering him the position of being a "volunteer vegan" on weekends.
In Gaming Revivals
Jeb is first seen walking around the Fleeting Smiles Cemetery, where he is hit in the face by Scotts book when he is spooked by Rock Band. When asked why he is walking around, he just says that he is just looking. Scott then offers him a ghost. Jab denies, because he already has a gun. He then says he is looking for a job, saying that it's his childhood dream to bounce back after getting fired. He then says that his skills are liking lizards and he will give Scott his book back if he is hired.
Jab and Scott then do inventory check, with Jab noticing that they also have a bunch of spider bites. Jab then notices someone coming up, and it's revealed to be Target Employee. He then comes up and asks if the ghosts are chipped. Scott is about to offer him a ghost, but realizes they are gone. Jab and Scott realize it would be a smart business decision to have a ghost expert as an employee, with Target Employee soon being hired. He then shows disgust when Scott tramples the corpse of F-zero. When Scott asks what else is there to do at the cemetery, Jab points out that there is a Del Taco nearby. Scott then says that people go there to die, so they need a marketing guy to help compete with Del Taco. Terry Lesler is then hired.
In Toys to Life
Jeb is seen as an employee for The Waste Chasers, he works for Dex Mohs and works with Rex Mohs. He is seen in the Waste Chasers commercial claiming to own 30 acres of unused farm land. They arrive at New Locationer McGee and demonstrate their wasting skills.
For the rest of the episode Jeb is present while Scott talks about toys to life games, Dex sends more games as Scott talks.
After The Waste Chasers is revealed to be a front ran by Rex and Dex, Jeb is shocked as he didn't know this, he thought Rex cared about wasting as much as him. The Waste Chasers split and Jeb relocates the waste to Jab Farms.
In The Funeral
Jeb is seen going to Wendy's Employees funeral with Scott, Terry Lesler, and Rex Mohs. Before going, he shows concern about going due to his fear of death. While eating chips with Mohs and Scott, he decides to face his fears and go see Wendy's Employees corpse. He is then seen yelling at him.
During Scott's speech about Wendy's Employee, Jeb stands up and says he has had enough of death. Mohs then talks to him, saying that even though death isn't for everyone, but his negativity is bringing down the funeral. He then says that after his uncle died for the fourth time he started to resent death. He is then seen enjoying Mohs funeral.
In The Gifts of Gaming
- Prior to The Great Mysteries of Gaming, Jeb Jab's full name was never known, only being referred to as just "Jeb".
- As stated by Scott Wozniak in a Reddit AMA, Jab is less of a "hardcore vegan" than Terry Lesler.
- Sam Essig (The actor for Jeb Jab) can be seen in Episode 43: Polybius helping Scott by moving the Polybius box.
- His Halloween costume in Memory Cards was “Gex”.
- Jab is noticeably absent from the Fuck Scott Task Force despite being a main character, his actor was present on the day of filming though.
- He may have been fired from his RPG delivery job as in Gaming Revivals he says he was let go from his “mail route” and is currently looking for a job, but it’s not confirmed if he’s talking about his RPG delivery job.
- He hasn’t had a desk in 12 years.
- Starting in the Dark Age of Nintendo series, he has shown an interest in the game series Gex.
- He claims to not have a birthday, this is technically not possible, but he could have given his birthday to Rex since he has 2 and at the time was a fellow Waste Chaser.
- He is afraid of dying, as revealed in The Funeral.
- His uncle has a history of dying multiple times as seen in Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash - The Darker Age of Nintendo and The Funeral.
- As of Borderline Forever, he is a volunteer vegan.