Episode 2: Nintendo Switch Presentation 2017

Nintendo Switch Presentation 2017 is the 2nd episode of Scott The Woz. The video was uploaded on January 14, 2017, by Scott Wozniak on Scott The Woz.

Description
Who needs a live reaction? Scripted snark and a critique on the Nintendo Switch Presentation lies within!

Characters

 * Scott Wozniak

Credits

 * Scott Wozniak as Scott Wozniak

Plot
WIP

Music
WIP
 * Breakout - 3D Dot Game Heroes
 * Main Theme (January 2015) - Nintendo eShop

End Cards

 * Nintendo Switch Wish List
 * The Internet and You
 * A Tour of My Frat House | Alpha Menorah JavaScript

Transcript
[text saying "January 12th" appears at the bottom of the screen]

Scott Wozniak: ''Hey all, Scott here. The Nintendo Switch presentation is about to go underway, and oh my oh me, I am so utterly excited! I've been a fan of Nintendo the vast majority of my life. I play and collect their games, I read into their history, I stay up-to-date with everything the company does. I'm like--well, you would say--way into Nintendo. But recently, I've been very critical about the company. Frequently, it seems like they've been releasing games, that just don't live up to the quality standard most Nintendo games boast. However, when the Switch was announced, I was gleefully excited. And I have been awaiting the moment Nintendo was going to pull back the curtains on their latest creations ever since. Because the Switch feels like a fresh start, a reboot for Nintendo. And this moment is nigh.''

Scott Wozniak: ''In terms of predictions, I'm looking forward to seeing Nintendo exude mild embarrassment. Oh, and Pikmin! If Nintendo disappoints me, it's no biggie. I always have a bottle of Pepto-Bismol on standby, just in case Nintendo makes me want to vomit my feelings out! Well, we might as well take a good pre-swig before everything goes downhill.''

[Cut to a clip of the presentation.]

Announcer: In North America, it will be $299.99.

[Scott is currently drinking the Pepto-Bismol.]

Scott Wozniak: ''I'm sorry, what? After all the rumors of this thing being a smooth $250, Nintendo expects me to spend $300 on this pile of garbage?!''

[He is currently looking between his computer and his credit card to pre-order the system.]

Scott Wozniak: It's like Nintendo thinks I'm a sucker who will buy anyone of their products at any price point.

[Cut to footage of Tatsumi Kimishima talking about the online service.]

Scott Wozniak: And that is Tatsumi Kimishima, the only man who your opinion of changes between every picture he's ever taken.

[Showing one picture of him, and Scott winces, then another picture of him, and Scott feels happy.]

Scott Wozniak: The best way to describe him is, you know that one guy at the family reunion you don't really know but you kinda recognize, yeah he's the president of Nintendo!

[Presentation.]

Announcer: ''Today, I'd like to introduce you all to ARMS. ARMS is a fighting sports game that uses extendable arms to battle.''

[Scott looks at his list of things that he wants, the 3 things on the list are "A Fighting Sports game that uses extendable arms to battle," "The whole "mortality" thing," and "Confirmation the Dust Bowl was a myth."]

Scott Wozniak: FINALLY, a game for me!

[SEGA's section of the presentation.]

Announcer: We will consider new games for the Nintendo Switch, and will present them soon.

[Back to Scott.]

Scott Wozniak: ''Hey, sup guys! Nintendo found me lurking in the bathroom, and they want me to talk about the Switch! I don't have any games to show, but, I like the Switch!''

[Presentation.]

Announcer: So, that matches with what we are, uh, expecting in a, uh, gaming, development, process.

[Cut back to Scott with text that says "Live Footage of Translator", while the audio from the stream is still going, he's trying to organize his sheets of paper and keeps messing up, then spills water all over them.

Scott Wozniak: ''Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! Oh no!''

Announcer: So, this one game I am working on right now, um.

[Cut to the EA Sports section]

Announcer: EA Sports FIFA on Nintendo Switch will be the most immersive social authentic sports game ever created for Nintendo players.

[Cut back to Scott]

Scott Wozniak: What's up losers, you weeaboos like soccer?!

[Cut to the Breath of the Wild release date section]

Reggie Fils-Aimé: [Japanese text at the bottom] When are we launching The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild?

Shigeru Miyamoto: [In Japanese but with English text at the bottom] Sorry, not me- ask him.

Eiji Aonuma: [In Japanese but with English text at the bottom] Hi Reggie!

Reggie Fils-Aimé: ''Mr. Aonuma! You're the producer for The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. You know everything about the game! Certainly you must know when are we launching the game?''

Eiji Aonuma: ''I don't know the answer either. Please ask Kimishima-san in Tokyo.''

Reggie Fils-Aimé: ''Well, I guess that settles it. There's nothing left to do except throw it back to Tokyo, and Mr. Kimishima, do you have the answer to that question?''

[Miyamoto holds a Joy-Con Grip while Aonuma holds a Switch playing Breath of the Wild.]

Announcer: [Translating Kimishima's speech] Shibato-san, Reggie-san, Miyamoto-san, Aonuma-san. Thank you very much. You've left me with a very important task, but I'll have to come back to your question in a second.

[Back to Scott.]

Scott Wozniak: ''Nintendo thinks they're so slick by doing this whole "Is it a launch title?" thing. Honestly, if it was like this, how big of a slap to the face would it be?''

[Shows an edited version of the end of the Breath of the Wild trailer, but with a release date of September 31, 2018.]

Scott Wozniak: ''So that was the Nintendo Switch Presentation 2017 in a nutshell, and overall, it was all right. A handful of games got me pretty embarassingly excited. Super Mario Odyssey is everything I wanted the next 3D Mario to be. I could do without the real people walking around, but other than that, sublime. That Zelda trailer at the end was literal perfection. The greatest trailer Nintendo has ever produced, bar none.''

[Footage of the trailer for Breath of the Wild.]

Scott Wozniak: ''Nintendo usually blows at making trailers, but trust me, this is not only the greatest trailer Nintendo has ever released, but one of the best trailers I've seen in a long time. This is a trailer you show anyone who doesn't know what Breath of the Wild is. It tells you everything you may want to know before buying the game. The open world, coupled with the stunning vistas and art style, action, plot, motion, it's the real deal.''

[Cut back, showing footage of the games hes talking about]

Scott Wozniak: ''ARMS is honestly a pretty neat looking IP. I see a lot of people complaining that it's a full price retail game, but in its defense we've barely seen anything from it. I still think there's a lot of ARMS we haven't seen. However, I think the name is dumb. The name ARMS is dumb! I think for a game as weird as ARMS, I think it deserves a more clever, unique or just weirder title, not something as broad as ARMS.''

Scott Wozniak: ''I didn't give a piss about 1-2-Switch when it was first revealed, but the more I see it, the more I think it would be a fun party game. Worth $50 though? PFFFFTTTT! It should have been a pack-in honestly.''

Scott Wozniak: ''Splatoon 2 is weird to me. It looks like the original just with more new everything. More new maps, weapons, modes, but Splatoon already kept adding more new elements all the time. The fact that Splatoon continually got new content kind of makes the sequel feel a bit weird to me. Just because, it feels like Splatoon 1 And A Half, rather than a completely new game. But I really liked Splatoon and it looks like everything I initally wanted in a Splatoon port to the Switch, is now being included in the sequel and then some.''

Scott Wozniak: ''So, I like the games Nintendo showed, where did they go wrong? The third party section was awful, to put it lightly. They could've saved everybody time by just showing a sizzle reel interviewing developers on what they think of the Switch and if they have any games in the pipeline for it. Instead they slowly jumped from developer to developer. Some didn't even have a game to talk about.''

Scott Wozniak: ''Overall, I would have preferred seperate press conferences for each region just because, the translation sometimes got a little funky and different regions could have focused on different things. If North America had their own press conference for example, they could have revealed Mother 3 for the Switch, just becuase Mother 3 has been in Japan for 10 years, they wouldn't make a big deal about it being on the Switch during the Japanese press conference.''

Scott Wozniak: ''But overall, I'd give the presentation on my patented 12-point scale, a solid, okay. But that's just what I thought about the presentation in general. What did I think of the Nintendo Switch itself?''

[He slams down a piece of paper showing the email he got sent for pre-ordering it]

Scott Wozniak: I'm a sucker!

[Outro]

Trivia

 * The episode introduces the bottle of Pepto-Bismol which appears in all future episodes on Scott Wozniak's desk.