Jerry Attricks

Jerry Attricks is a character in the Scott The Woz series. He is a therapist who owns his own business, called The Think Barrel. He first appears as an anchorman in A Very Madden 08 Christmas, but became an important character after Animal Crossing: amiibo Festival | The Dark Age of Nintendo as Scott Wozniak's therapist after he seeks help after playing 3 bad Nintendo games. Since his second appearance, Attricks has become a major character in the series. He is played by Justin Womble.

In A Very Madden 08 Christmas
Before he became a therapist, Jerry Attricks was an anchorman. He predicts in August of 2016 that all copies of Madden 18 will be stolen from Target, later around 5 PM Bluth 17, 2017, he reports that all copies of Madden 18 have indeed been stolen from Target.

He then later appears again when he reports that all of the copies of Madden 18 that were stolen from Target were found in a white trash bag at the 3rd annual Vegans Anonymous Gathering.

In The Dark Age of Nintendo
In the series, Attricks primarily appears as Scott Wozniak's therapist, who attempts to help him overcome playing the "worst" Nintendo games of 2015.

Throughout the episodes, Attricks attempts to lecture Wozniak that he should not care about the bad games if it upsets him as much as they do, a philosophy which Wozniak rejects.

As the episode pass by, Attricks starts to become crazy due to Wozniak, ending with Attricks going to therapy.

In the final episode, Attricks goes to New Location McGee to hear what the last "bad" Nintendo game from 2015 was as without it, he wouldn't get his own therapy.

After Wozniak shows Attricks to the bathroom, Attricks finds out that the Wozniak has a deep hatred towards the last game, Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash, which causes Attricks to make a therapy office out of Wozniak's room.

After also inviting Jeb Jab and Rex Mohs, the four play Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash, with everyone except Wozniak enjoying it.

Wozniak, wanting to eliminate every copy of the game, has the idea to go into the sewer system to find all the copies he's thrown down his toilet, which everyone eventually all agrees to do.

In the sewer system, they find a a sewer monster comprised out of copies of Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash that Wozniak has thrown away. Attricks later gets captured by the monster.

After being freed by a copy of Gex: Enter the Gecko for the PlayStation, Attricks and everyone else is back at New Location McGee, where they discuss, and Attricks thinks about opening his own therapy business, named The Think Barrel. The episode then ends with the four playing Gex: Enter the Gecko.

In Speed Dating
After realizing that he needs to marry someone with a nephew to become an uncle, Scott Wozniak calls Attricks, Rex Mohs, and Terry Lesler over to New Location McGee to found the Fuck Scott Task Force. After discussing, Lesler suggests that Wozniak should try speed dating to find a sexual partner. After proposing the idea, the uninvited Target Employee states that he would be interested in helping Wozniak train for the speed dating.

After discussing how the Fuck Scott Task Force could speed date "in honor" of Target Employee's late brother, Wendy's Employee, Attricks and the others practice speed dating. After a while of practicing, Wozniak's date shows up; however, the group yells at her to leave as they have yet to fully prepare, ending the episode.

In You're Not an RPG Guy
After Terry Lesler takes Wozniak to the RPG intervention at Wozniak's house. Jerry Attricks, Rex Mohs and Target Employee try and help Wozniak become an RPG Guy, Attricks first thinks Wozniak's race was an Alcoholic, but then realizes it's 'Not an RPG Guy' later, and that Alcoholic was his Zodiac sign. He calls the government to see if it is okay for them to kidnap Wozniak, and they say its okay.

They don't give Wozniak a chance to explain himself as this is America, even if it's actually Ohio. He then suggests Wozniak as his therapist to be open to more things, like RPGs and murder, and that it doesn't count until you like it. They all agree that Wozniak doesn't have much of an argument, like Stalin, who hates RPGs but loves Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze.

Wozniak is going in a full-on review of the tropes of the RPG genre. But Target Employee tells him that Wendy's Employee's dying wish was for Wozniak to play Nier Replicant ver.1.22474487139..., while Attricks and Mohs talk about how stocked the shelves were at Target today.

Mohs invites Kay Swiss to the intervention as a surprise witness to explain how him not being an RPG Guy is damaging the economy. Jeb Jab also comes to deliver the RPG, Madden 08, to Wozniak for work, since he also loves the economy. Wozniak gets angry and runs to his room.

Attricks tells everyone that its a leap-year this year despite it being December, and Target Employee orders economy-size ribs. Lesler then orders stale pretzels from Stale Pretzels since he's vegan, and also orders FlingSmash the RPG to do something nice for Wozniak. Jab arrives again, since he loves the economy. Attricks and everyone else are about to give it to Wozniak, but he is okay with not being a RPG Guy now, so they leave him be.

In Borderline Forever
He is called by Wozniak after realizing the blue border has always been there. They meet at the Think Barrel for therapy, where Jerry Attricks reveals that he thinks a blue border is the most insane thing he's ever heard, even more than murder. He also says that he is thinking about branching out of therapy to make his epitaph more interesting by having a foot fetish.

Wozniak takes him to his bedroom for an experiment where Attricks knocks him out in order to figure out what's wrong with him. After not agreeing to use the CAT scanner in the room, he uses a frying pan instead. He labels all the parts of his face so he doesn't get confused while talking to Wozniak's subconscious. Wozniak's realizes that he can't compete with shapes, even Attricks' dad's killer was a shape. Attricks puts a pillow to Wozniaks face to take his mind off of it but it starts killing him instead. He then tries pointing a gun to his head, but that doesn't work either.

After Wozniak says that the border might be getting bigger, Attricks says that it's impossible since he's required to not be brain-dead and his pulse stopped 30 seconds ago. Wozniak yells for Attricks to resuscitate him, but he didn't hear a plead so he declines. He puts a wash cloth on his head to revitalize him, but he realizes its not wet enough so he pours a bottle of water on it.

After a song, Wozniak wakes up and Attricks notes the wash cloth and water for next time. They go to the hospital and soon after, Rex Mohs, Terry Lesler, Jeb Jab and Target Employee arrive.

He tells Mohs to be quiet since there's a library down the street. Then tells Wozniak that after a mental breakdown like that, he should do something productive like joining the army, and tells the others about how Wozniak is seeing a blue border. After them not believing him, the others are about to leave but they alongside Attricks start to see the border as well and they start to freak out.

In order to prevent the border from getting bigger, he stops being only Wozniak's therapist, and starts being a therapist, since he has something to do under him, but he can't do it with the border in the way. He then gets tasked with spreading the word of the blue border by handing out pieces of paper that say "We're not crazy, you're just f*cked!" on them alongside Lesler, Jab and Target Employee.

They get a cease and desist from the 9 other groups with the exact same slogan as them, and go back to Wozniak's house, and get a 9 News report making fun of them. They then realize all they did was make it spread even more, and it starts to affect everyone in Ohio. Wozniak then gets the idea to build a rocket to go to space to find the border.

Attricks gets assigned HR by Wozniak and they set off, going into space, Attricks recognizes the area they are in, and starts guiding Wozniak, but then their ship gets hit by a laser. Creating a circle hole in the wall, which he hates, thankfully Target Employee covers the hole using a Whopper. They all then realize the ship is being attacked by Brett Favre, cover athlete of Madden 09.

They try to escape, but his troops, the Green Bay Packers board the ship, Attricks, alongside the others, fight them, only to realize that Favre's ship got in front of them while they weren't looking and fires a laser, they fire back, and Favre says that he's coming over there himself, only to be stopped by Vince Young, they then dock into the giant blue border shaped object in the distance.

Attricks is happy that home invasion is in now, and saw a packet of printer ink on the floor, leading him into a trap, getting captured by the blue border itself. He is unable to do anything as it starts to affect the entire planet. Wozniak is able to stop him with virginity, the opposite of eternal life. But it needs a host, Wozniak volunteers to do it, even though that goes against everything they just did. But he's the one who has dealt with it the longest.

Back on Earth, Attricks gives a letter of recommendation to Wozniak for saving the planet from shapes.

In The Gifts of Gaming
TBA

Trivia

 * His name, Jerry Attricks, is likley a play on the word "geriatrics", a medicine and social science used towards elderly people.
 * He goes to therapy twice a week with his mirror.
 * Before every therapy session, he makes predictions on what happens with his patient's stories.
 * His New Year's resolution one year was to drink more.
 * Attricks has stated on multiple occasions that he hates circles, mainly due to his father being murdered by a shape.
 * Attricks does not like to associate with the dead because in Speed Dating it is revealed that he once had sexual intercourse with a ghost (and persumably did not enjoy it).
 * While being a member of Team F*cked he is sometimes noticeably absent from the team on some occasions, like in The Trial and Gaming Revivals, this is most likely because these episodes feature Steel Wool as the antagonist, who Attricks doesn’t know.
 * During the Wii Game Ship battle in Borderline Forever, Rex receives the role of “moral support” despite Attricks being an actual therapist.
 * He never met Wendy's Employee
 * He has PhuD
 * With the exception of A Very Madden 08 Christmas, Attricks is always seen wearing a dark red sweater.