User:IanTEB/sandbox/A Very Madden 08 Christmas Transcript

[Christmas music plays as the camera gets closer to Old Location McGee's window which then cuts to Scott Wozniak's room]

Scott Wozniak: Hey all, Scott here and do I ever have a beef with the National Calendar Society, months are opinions, not statements, so welcome to the month of Bluth!

[Scott Wozniak goes slightly to the right and reveals a calender saying Bluth 2017]

Scott Wozniak: ''You see, I was always bummed by the fact there weren't a lot of holidays leading up to Christmas. December is just filler with a climax at the very end. So I've effectively moved the first 23 days of Christmas to it's on month, Bluth, with tons of new holidays!''

[the camera zooms in on the day it was at the time, Why is Scott Wearing That Hat? Day]

Scott Wozniak: ''Today just so happens to be Why is Scott Wearing That Hat? Day.''

[the camera goes out again and now Scott Wozniak has a hat, he then shrugs]

Scott Wozniak: The only problem with the month of Bluth is that the last 6 days are reserved strictly for Empathy, so it looks like I have some time to kill before Christmas and what better way to pass the time than to look through some mail!

[Scott Wozniak takes up a piece of paper saying "You're invited to... V.A.G."]

Scott Wozniak: I'm sold!

[title card appears with the Scott The Woz logo followed by the camera going down into a snowy location with a sign saying "Scott Wozniak Presents", a sign then shows up saying "Scott The Woz Episode 50" the camera then goes to a Christmas tree with some snow on it that reads "A Very Madden 08 Christmas", the camera then goes to three presents that read "Music by Mike Stoney "Bulby" Alen Riddick "AlenRiddickMusic"", the camera then goes to a checklist next to what is presumed to be Santa's sleigh that reads "Starring Scott Wozniak Joe Robertson Sam Essig Dominic Mattero Justin Womble Jacob Rahe Brendon Donahue", the camera then goes to the top of a Christmas tree where "Directed, Written and Edited by Scott Wozniak" can be read, the camera then goes up into the sky and down again, revealing the Vegans Anonymous Gathering house, the camera then goes to Scott Wozniak who is looking at his invitation and the location, "In the building next to the grey road", can be read]

Scott Wozniak: Yep, this is the one!

[Scott Wozniak enters the building and sees Mute Vegan]

Scott Wozniak: ''Always happens to me. Ah, hey all, Scott here!''

Terry Lesler: ''Hey Scott, all here, my name's Terry Lesler and this is my assistant Jeb! Welcome to the third annual Vegans Anonymous Meeting!''

Jeb Jeb: Quite a big showing this year.

Scott Wozniak: So is this like a convention or a cult or a meeting?

Terry Lesler: ''Alright, so we got a little bit of column a, little bit of column 3, and a whole lot of cult column. You see, this time of year there sure is a lot of dairy in the air. So we really just need to come together this Christmas season.''

Jeb Jeb: It's hell.

Terry Lesler: Wanna join the resistance?

Scott Wozniak: Well, anything to beef up my resume's cult section!

[Jeb Jeb goes up to Scott Wozniak and unzips his jacket, showing that he had a plastic milk container taped to his shirt]

Terry Lesler: ''Oh come on! Why do you gotta do it here! Man, it's Christmas season!''

Jeb Jeb: ''Think of the kids. Think of the kids.''

Scott Wozniak: Listen, I just don't want to walk out of this place and constantly ask himself "What if?"!

Terry Lesler: Well, well, that is what they all say!

Scott Wozniak: ''Guys I swear I wasn't planning anything nefarious. Listen, what if I make it up to you by spreading Christmas cheer, the only way I know how!''

Terry Lesler: I don't know, it's pretty hard to trust someone after a stunt like this, to me you're basically wearing a racial slur on your shirt.

Scott Wozniak: ''Thank you. But come on! Give me a chance, it's impossible not to crack a smile while pummeling through Madden 08!''

Jeb Jeb: ''Holy shit! There's a Madden 08?!''

[the Madden NFL 08 logo appears]

Scott Wozniak: I know, I said the same thing when I first saw this game, "The eighth Madden? Surely they've truly run out of ideas at this point?", but right when I saw the opening cinematic I knew I wasn't in for the eighth Madden, I was in for Madden 08.

Andrew Anthony: EA Sports, it's in the game.

Scott Wozniak: ''It sure is. The opening here cuts between real-life footage and in-game graphics to highlight just how real Madden 08 is, jamming in our skulls the question,''

[text saying "Who Wants It More?" appears]

Scott Wozniak: ''"Who wants it more?" and Jesus Christ guys, my hand is as far up as I can make it. I do! I do! I do!''

[the NFL logo appears pumping up and down]

Scott Wozniak: After the NFL logo has some heart palpitations, we're greeted to...

[the Madden NFL 08 title screen is shown]

Scott Wozniak: ''Sigh... Welcome home, old friend.''

Scott Wozniak: ''The Madden franchise was based off of the hit-book, later adapted into a head coach and finally turned into video game franchise extraordinaire. It's truly one of the most successful game series out there, even though I'd consider it to be a one-hit-wonder.''

[Madden NFL 08 is shown]

Scott Wozniak: Madden 08 was officially let free to the public on August 14, 2007, for the PC, PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, PlayStation Portable, Nintendo GameCube, Wii, Nintendo DS, Xbox, and Xbox 360, with a Mac version following suit on September 1st, 2007, which means us true Madden 08 fans disregard it hard.

Scott Wozniak: ''But you're probably yelling "Tell me something I don't know!". We're taking a look at the Xbox 360 version here, which many considers to be the best of the bunch, but I couldn't personally choose just one, they're all great. But before we get to deep, spoiler alert, for my favorite team I'm picking The Chiefs, I love Kid Cuisine,''

[the Madden NFL 08 navigation appears]

Scott Wozniak: and who says video games aren't art?