Episode 200: Borderline Forever

Borderline Forever is the 5th episode of Scott The Woz Season 5 and overall the 200th episode. The video was premiered on May 23, 2021, by Scott Wozniak on Scott The Woz.

Description
Currently: Scott discovers shapes exist. Thank you all for watching!

During The Premiere: Scott discovers shapes exist. Thank you for 200 episodes!

Characters

 * Scott Wozniak
 * Unnamed mailman
 * Terry Lesler
 * Target Employee
 * Rex Mohs
 * Jeb Jab
 * Jerry Attricks
 * Hector Andfriends
 * Unnamed news reporters
 * Brett Favre
 * Unnamed members of the Green Bay Packers
 * Vince Young

Credits

 * Scott Wozniak as Scott Wozniak
 * Joe Robertson as Terry Lesler
 * Sam Essig as Jeb Jab
 * Dominic Mattero as Target Employee
 * Eric Turney as Rex Mohs
 * Justin Womble as Jerry Attricks
 * Jeffrey Pohlman-Beshuk as Unnamed mailman
 * Jack Douglass as Hector AndFriends
 * ConnorEatsPants as Unnamed news anchor
 * Gus Johnson as Unnamed reporter
 * Brett Favre as Brett Favre
 * Vince Young as Vince Young
 * With Indiejacob, AntDude, Caddicarus, Nitro Rad, SomecallmeJohnny, PeanutButterGamer, MetalJesusRocks, gillythekid, Nintendrew, Arlo, jschlatt, Stuttering Craig, Shane Gill, James Rolfe, Girlfriend Reviews, Stop Skeletons, Arin Hanson (Egoraptor), ConnorTheWaffle, Billiam, Ross O'Donovan (RubberRoss), Space Hamster, Beta 64, Shesez, A+ Start, Balrog, Rerez, NearChris, RadicalSoda, Adam Koralik, Matt McMuscles, Nathaniel Bandy, Spawn Wave, Kimerexprojekt, Jordan Fringe, RGT 85, PlayerEssence, Modern Vintage Gamer, MissClick Gaming, DreamcastGuy, Austin John Plays, Ash Paulsen (GameXplain), Derrick Bitner (GameXplain), Steve Bowling (Good Vibes Gaming), Jon Cartwright (Nintendo Life), Zion Grassl (Nintendo Life), Alex Olney (Nintendo Life), DashieXP, RogersBase, Lady Pelvic (Pelvic Gaming), Quinton Reviews, Drew Gooden, Storm Dain, TetraBitGaming, Sam's Procrastination Station, Retro Ali, Tama Hero, Justin Silverman, Rocco Botte, Kevin Kenson, RTGame, RelaxAlax
 * Branding/Logo - Nico Vliek
 * CGI Animation by Megan Kayla Smith
 * Animation: Stop Motion (Opening Credits, Miniature Sets, Exterior Spaceship Shots) by Emily Wolver
 * Animation: Stop Motion (Opening Credits, Interior Spaceship Shots) by Adie Valavanis
 * Animation: Stop Motion (Dream Sequence) by Faith Brunais
 * Animation: 2D Credits by SmashToons, Pedro Schmidt, Marie Lum, Fabian's Hideout, Addison Fujimoto, Amie Sanchez
 * Music:
 * General Score by Nicholas Karr
 * Opening Credits by Garrett Williamson, Nicholas Karr
 * End Credits by Hyper Potions
 * "Stupid Nintendo Games", "Might as Well" and "Stupid Nintendo Games (Reprise)" by Nicholas Karr, Lyrics by Scott Wozniak, Nocholas Karr
 * "Stupid Nintendo Games", "Might as Well" and "Stupid Nintendo Games (Reprise)" Vocals by Scott Wozniak
 * "Stupid Nintendo Games", "Might as Well" and "Stupid Nintendo Games (Reprise)" Mixing Engineer, Preston Parker
 * Tuba: Alex Hill, Saxophones: Carlos Eiene, Trombones: Daniel Romberger, Horn in F: Danny Flam, Violin/Viola/Cello/Bass: Gabe Valle, Violin: Hana Tan, Trumpet: John Robert Matz, Oboe: Kristin Naigus, Flute: Laura Intravia, Bass Clarinet: Lori Syngajewski, Piccolo: Madeleiene Stewart, Trumpet: Max Boiko, Piano: Oliver Glynn, Trumpet: Robby Duguay, Bassoon: Ryan Roikola, Clarinet: Steven Higbee
 * "Closing In" by Garrett Williamson, Lyrics by Scott Wozniak, Garrett Williamson, Produced, Mixed and Mastered by Garrett Williamson
 * "Closing In" Lead Vocals by Scott Wozniak, Backing Vocals by Garrett Williamson
 * Rhythm Guitars by Chase Akers, Bennett Roach, Joshua Taipale, Lead Guitar by Bennett Roach, Bass by Chase Weimer, Drums by Scott Williamson, Extra Programming by Garrett Williamson


 * Special Thanks and Help by Sam Essig, Eric Turney, Jeffrey Pohlman-Beshuk, Justin Womble, Joe Robertson, Dominic Mattero, Kate Santus, Everybody who submitted an "Earthquake" video, The Completionist, Shane Gill

Plot
The video starts with a shot of the Earth, and a shadow starting to be cast onto it, after the intro, Scott Wozniak puts How to Talk About Video Games into a VHS player, and it shows a instructional video about just that, pointing out the many tropes of video game related YouTube channels. Many YouTubers are also seen watching it and taking notes.

The VHS ejects and Wozniak reveals he shouldn't have taped over the proof of his innocence. He gets thrown a copy of Wii Play from a mailman, and Wozniak talks about how much he loves Stupid Nintendo Games, even breaking out into a song about them.

He then goes through every major Nintendo console one by one, from the NES to the Switch, slowly getting more mad over time, until he realized he skipped over the Wii U, and starts ranting about it, especially the fact that Super Mario 3D World had a blue border. He slowly realizes that there's been a blue border around him the entire time. He checks his photo album and finds out that it's always been there. He then calls Jerry Attricks.

They meet at The Think Barrel and start doing therapy, Attricks doesn't believe Wozniak at all, but agrees to do an experiment with him. They go to Wozniak's bedroom, and Attricks knocks him out with a frying pan to try and figure out what is going on with him. Wozniak finds the border, but can't kick its ass due to it being a shape. The border starts to get bigger though. And Wozniak has a mental breakdown through song.

He wakes up and they go to the hospital, where Rex Mohs, Terry Lesler, Jeb Jab, and Target Employee arrive. Wozniak talks to them individually, except for Mohs, and tries to convince them the border is real. But just as they were about to leave, the border starts affecting them too.

They start going against their crippling restrictive tropes in order to temporarily stop the border from getting bigger, and formulate a plan to tell more people about the border, Attricks, Jab, Target Employee, and Lesler go to the streets and tell people that they aren't crazy and they're just f*cked. While Wozniak and Mohs invade the cable TV talk show Throats for Thought, but the activists get a cease and desist, and Wozniak and Mohs get kicked off the show. They then get made fun of by a 9 News reporter

They only them realize that the border only started when it was pointed out to them. And another 9 News report happens that says that now everyone in Ohio is being affected by the border. Wozniak then has the idea to build a rocket to go to space, he uses all his spare Wii Games to make the Hour of Variety through song.

They take off, but get attacked by a laser and a hole is made, thankfully, Target Employee blocks the leak by throwing a Whopper into it. They then are attacked by Brett Favre, cover athlete of Madden 09. They try to escape, but his troops, the Green Bay Packers, board the ship. The team fights them and wins, but that was only a distraction for Favre's ship to get in front of them to fire a laser. They fire back and then Favre says that he's coming over there himself. But the group is saved by Vince Young.

They then see a giant border shaped object in the distance, they dock it, and look around for answers, everyone except Wozniak is led into a trap, and the border now starts to affect everyone on the planet. All seems hopeless, until Wozniak realizes that since the border is eternal life, and the opposite of that is virginity, he sends all of the Wii games from the rocket and his on-hand copies of Madden 08 to attack the border, it is defeated and is now on the ground.

The group realizes that it needs a host or else it will only get bigger and bigger again. Wozniak volunteers since he knows how to deal with it. Back down on Earth, everyone is saved. Attricks give Wozniak a letter of reccomendation and Jab tells Lesler that he can't be a full-time vegan anymore, but he can atleast be a volunteer vegan.

Wozniak then celebrates with a song, and the video ends after animated depictions of various scenes from the series past and credits for the entirety of Episodes 1-199.

Music

 * Opening Credits (Original Piece) by Garrett Williamson and Nicholas Karr ( https://youtu.be/MmX6Qkpm2mY )
 * Good Morning Mr. Woz (Original Piece) by Nicholas Karr ( https://youtu.be/CAZfy7l57Fo )
 * Stupid Nintendo Games (Original Piece) by Nicholas Karr ( https://youtu.be/dOQAqGhhzdQ )
 * Overworld Theme - Super Mario Bros. 2 (USA)
 * Area 1 - Blaster Master
 * Ending Part 4 - Ninja Gaiden (NES)
 * Galaxy Man - Mega Man 9
 * Bonus Room Blitz - Donkey Kong Country
 * Big Blue - F-Zero
 * Sunset Valley - Stunt Race FX
 * Cranky's Theme - Donkey Kong Country
 * Fight Against Bowser - Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars
 * Hyrule Field - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
 * Mario's Rainbow Castle - Mario Party
 * Metal Cap - Super Mario 64
 * Staff Roll - Super Mario 64
 * Yoshi's Theme - Tetris Attack (Game Boy)
 * Tal Tal Heights - The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
 * Battle of the Holy - Castlevania: The Adventure
 * Art Museum and Clink Prison - Drill Dozer
 * Fire Mountain 3 - Mario vs. Donkey Kong
 * Shy Guy Beach and Cheep Cheep Island - Mario Kart: Super Circuit
 * Trophy - Super Smash Bros. Melee
 * Mr. Resetti - Animal Crossing
 * Hammer Dance - Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix
 * Seaside Hill - Sonic Heroes
 * Break the Targets - Super Smash Bros. Melee
 * Title Screen - Wii Chess
 * Training Mode - Wii Sports
 * Puzzle Plank Galaxy - Super Mario Galaxy 2
 * Main Theme - Nintendo DSi Shop Channel
 * King Kabombra Battle - Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash
 * Lottery from Super Mario 3D World "Airship (SMW)" - Super Mario Maker
 * Discovering the Border (Original Piece) by Nicholas Karr ( https://youtu.be/CAZfy7l57Fo )
 * Sweet and Lovely by Alan Braden
 * Stormy Passage by Cedric King-Palmer
 * Me for You by George Callert
 * Experiment in Bed (Original Piece) by Nicholas Karr ( https://youtu.be/CAZfy7l57Fo )
 * Closing In (Original Piece) by Garrett Williamson ( https://youtu.be/9k4W2m1cIzk )
 * Spindlelegs by Cedric King-Palmer
 *  'Er Indoors by Johnny Hawksworth
 * Stepping into Danger by Mike Sunderland
 * Busy Bachelor by Redvers Kyle
 * Living Large by Fresh Music Library
 * Workaday World by Jack Beaver
 * Graveyard by Johnny Pearson
 * Breaking News by Fresh Music Library
 * This Just In (Original Piece) by Nicholas Karr ( https://youtu.be/CAZfy7l57Fo )
 * Disaster by Bruce Campbell
 * Lovely Scenery C by Mladen Franko
 * Might as Well (Original Piece) by Nicholas Karr
 * Blast Off (Original Piece) by Nicholas Karr ( https://youtu.be/CAZfy7l57Fo )
 * The Creature A by Gregor Narholz
 * Punks from Green Bay (Original Piece) by Nicholas Karr ( https://youtu.be/CAZfy7l57Fo )
 * The Blue Border (Original Piece) by Nicholas Karr ( https://youtu.be/CAZfy7l57Fo )
 * Stupid Nintendo Games (Reprise) (Original Piece) by Nicholas Karr
 * Borderline Forever (Breakout from 3D Dot Game Heroes Remix) by Hyper Potions ( https://youtu.be/-cA_0LsHtg4 )
 * Madden on the Rocks (Original Piece) by Nicholas Karr ( https://youtu.be/wFY2eEj3da0 )

End Cards

 * Virtual Boy: I've Seen Better
 * Nintendo Switch Wish List
 * It's Awesome Baby!

Gallery
WIP

Transcript
[The video opens with an image of outer space full of stars. It cuts to another screen full of stars, this time more close-up. Next, it cuts to a shot of the Earth from space. The opening credits music begins to play as a shadow appears over the Earth. It cuts to show the text “SCOTT WOZNIAK PRESENTS” beside a 3D rotating blue border. It then cuts to just the border rotating. It cuts again to another shot of the border with the text “STARRING SCOTT WOZNIAK”. It cuts to another shot of the border spinning. It cuts again and the text “JOE ROBERTSON”, “SAM ESSIG” AND “DOMINIC MATTERO” is shown. There is another cut to just the border rotating. It cuts again to show “ERIC TURNEY” and “JUSTIN WOMBLE”. There is a panning shot of the 3D border. It cuts again to show “SCOTT THE WOZ”; “EPISODE 200”. The text remains in front on screen as the border in the background cuts to multiple different angles. It cuts to black. The 3D blue border fades in from the distance and spins as it approaches the camera. It attaches to the edge of the video as a claymation version of the Scott The Woz logo appears on screen. It wipes to blue. The blue screen tears like paper and the Borderline Forever logo appears on screen]

[The video then cuts to a shot of a shelf full of VHS tapes; “Just Ask Scott”, “Give A F*ck Productions: E3”, “Water EX+ Promotional Trailer”, “How To Talk About Video Games”, “The Internet and You”, “Marketing: I Can Sell Deception”, “Wii Chess Promotional Trailer” - alongside “Dick Vitale's “Awesome, Baby!” College Hoops” and the “08 Collection”. A hand takes the “How To Talk About Video Games” tape from the shelf. The sleeve is shown being removed and the tape is inserted into a VHS player. It cuts to a shot of the player next to a TV, surrounded by references to previous episodes. The tape is rewinded before it is stopped and then played. A film leader appears and counts down from 5. On 2, the camera cuts to show just the screen, where Scott Wozniak appears in front of his desk ]

Scott Wozniak: Hey all, Scott here!

[The video cuts to show the tape footage instead of a shot of the TV screen]

Scott: ''Are you about three large footsteps away from the grave? Need to kill time before you go kathunk in a casket? Might I suggest learning to talk about video games. What else would I do at my funeral? If it wasn't for talking about video games, I'd be happy.''

[It cuts back to the shot of the TV next to the VHS player]

Scott: ''It takes a lot of no shame to do, so tell me - are you gonna learn how to talk about video games... or are you gonna have integrity?''

[It cuts to a shot of his shelf of Xbox 360 games. Scott slides his finger along the top of the boxes before stopping at the end on Max Payne 3. He pulls it forward slightly before letting go. It cuts to a shot in front of his shelf of PS4 and Wii U games, where he is shown opening the Sonic Mania game box. He sees an advertisement leaflet for Sonic Forces inside and throws the box away from him. It then cuts to a shot of a shelf with a selection of game cartridges. His hand appears indecisive before he removes the cartridge for Adventures of Dino Riki for NES from the shelf. The cartridge is shown being inserted into an NES before the NES is shown being switched on. It cuts to Scott sitting down on his couch with a grunt. He gestures off-camera]

Scott: Look at this.

[The title screen of Adventures of Dino Riki is shown on his TV screen]

Scott: ''This is your life now. The first step to talking about video games is not playing video games and I cannot stress that enough. Why be a video game player when you can make silly comments about 'em? It's the same sentiment I have towards the working class. So, put the controller down-''

[He puts his NES controller on the couch beside him]

Scott: -And repeat after me:

[The scene cuts to show Indiejacob watching the video of Scott on his TV]

Scott: THIS GAME IS F*CKING BULLSH*T!

[Indiejacob is shown taking notes in a notebook]

Indiejacob: Game… bullsh*t…

[Various clips are shown of people watching the video]

Scott: ''Video games are art and have been one of the leading ways for artists to express themselves in recent memory. Discussing them is completely warranted, but if you're worried about losing the listener's attention during, make sure to spice things up by making funny random noises.''

[It cuts to him coughing up water]

Scott: ''While discussing said video game, don't be afraid to not talk about video games while talking about video games for roughly 5 to 10 minutes while you act out some kind of a skit... Make sure it isn't funny! Some people call this a waste of time, I call it a filibuster.''

You gotta have your-

[He holds up a copy of Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash ]

Scott: ''-arch nemesis game… one you just can't escape from. Sure, you could just not play it, but then what would I have to do tomorrow?''

Hey, it's been a while since that random noise.

[It cuts to him gurgling water]

Scott: Still there?

[It cuts to him standing in front of his game shelves]

Scott: Stand in front of your game collection to announce your resignation from society.

[It cuts back to him on the couch]

Scott: ''It's a good thing to yell a lot, people won't take you seriously if you aren't screaming. I call this the Thanksgiving dinner approach. Now it's really important to act like you're better than the game you're talking about... uh- this can be achieved with a few-''

Scott: WHO MADE THIS?!

Scott: And-

Scott: WHAT IS THIS GAME?!

Scott: ''But if you don't know what to say you can always just start acting awkward and give yourself a double chin. “So on to the next one- which is the one after the-thast-that one... the next one is the - this-tha-the-it's-it-it-it- it's the one!''

''Swearing. Yes. Swearing is a genetic staple of the video game player, you truly play video games if you can say f*ck about them. And if you aren't willing to say f*ck uncensored... g-g-get the f*ck out of here.''

[The Angry Video Game Nerd, watching the video, nods and looks at the camera]

AVGN: Duly noted.

Scott: ''You have to have an opinion on EVERY game- the RIGHT opinion! You have to play every game, too- and like every game - EXCEPT FOR THE BAD ONES! If you mess up one of these, play it off as a joke, maybe make a funny quip about it and shake some yellow text around you to prove you're serious about being funny.''

[Two hands holding pieces of paper with the text “FUNNY MOMENT” appear from the sides of the screen and shake the paper]

Scott: FUNNY MOMENT!

''And you can't just TALK about video games, you gotta be funny, especially if you're not funny. That way you can deflect criticisms by stating you shouldn't be taken seriously. If you need to be seen playing video games, hold the controller as close to your chin as possible and frown.''

[He does so]

Scott: ''Can you tell the controller's not even plugged in? Are you better than the person listening? No, but you have more Wii U games than them, so always remind them of that. React accordingly to anything happening on screen. I.e. ... scream.''

[It cuts to him screaming]

Scott: And when you start talking games with people, make sure to not see them there.

[He uses the controller for a moment before turning to the camera]

Scott: Oh, hi, I didn't see you there.

''You have to do your research and get EVERYTHING right about Mega Man 4- if you don't... Well, boy, you look like an idiot.''

[It cuts to him holding a tablet that has Raid Shadow Legends on it]

Scott: If someone pays you to talk about a video game…

[He glances at the tablet]

Scott: ...Don't act like you already had integrity.

''Maybe you could gather various like-minded people together and pose a threat. Like- watch yourself or I'll start a podcast. Feel free to really express some emotions here, you're talking about video games for God's sake, I'd cry too if I were talking about Mario Party. If you're having a hard time crafting your own things to say about these games, never count out plagiarism. It's a myth, anyways! The alphabet's not copyrighted, f*ck-o!''

''Of course, everybody has their own opinion and that's the way it should be; there's never going to be a right or wrong one to have on a video game, and when someone disagrees with you, you can always call them a f*ck over email. And that just about covers what you need to know to talk about video games. You truly have what it takes to waste your time. Of course you need to know when to stop talking, so might I suggest a poignant stinger to end things before you get all blue? So grab a dictionary-''

[He holds up a dictionary]

Scott: -and find a random string of words that you think would work well together.

[He reads along one of the pages with his finger]

Scott: ”I… own more Wii U games than you”- wow, it's like fate.

[A blue screen with the text “DIRECTED, WRITTEN AND EDITED BY SCOTT WOZNIAK” falls from above and fills the screen as the music ends. It fades to black. The camera cuts to show the tape being ejected from the player. Scott takes the tape out and looks at it]

Scott: I shouldn't have taped over that…

[The tape is shown to have a label which originally said “SECURITY TAPE: PROVES SCOTT'S INNOCENCE”, but has been crossed out and now says “how to talk about video games” underneath. It cuts to black before a shot of the sky is shown. Good Morning, Mr. Woz begins to play. It fades into a shot of a door, which is opened by Scott, who is wearing a robe. He looks out cheerfully. The camera shows the mailman riding a bicycle and he throws a copy of Wii Play at Scott's feet. The mailman raises a hand in greeting]

Mailman: Morning.

[Scott picks up the game box and looks at his watch. He points at the mailman]

Scott: Correct.

[The scene changes to inside, where Scott adds the copy of Wii Play to a shelf that already has sixteen other Wii Plays on it. The camera cuts back to show Scott standing next to the shelf. He addresses the camera]

Scott: ''Welcome to the fun side of my brain, filled with an urge to collect video games and an obscene amount of Nintendo knowledge... I call it my wild side, doctors call it a tumor.''

I just like consistency- knowing these things will always be here, organized…

[He turns to the shelf and swaps the last two Wii Play boxes with each other]

Scott: ...alphabetically!

This is MY thing, thank you - it used to be abstinence, but this works more.

Everybody should get into this kinda stuff, we'd all have the same hobby, that way it'll be even more confusing why nobody would talk to me.

Many consider this a waste of time, to that I say: Well, so is living.

Things could be worse, sure- stupid Nintendo games may be my only true hobby - but at least I'm not politically aware.

[Stupid Nintendo Games begins to play]

Scott: I mean, there is no true end in sight here- I did the math- and there are...

[He holds up a calculator and looks at it]

Scott: A LOT-

[He shows the calculator screen to the camera, showing that it says “A LOT”]

Scott: ''-of stupid Nintendo games. There's no excuse now- EVERYBODY should have no life!''

Scott: ♫Over 15,000 games to try, To discuss and later shelve.♫

[He puts the Mega Man Legacy Collection for 3DS box on a shelf]

Scott: ♫The consistency, Alphabetically, And Player's Choice can go to hell!

The size and shape of disks and cards, For an hour or so I'll talk.♫

[He swipes right on Gubble and Donkey Kong Barrel Blast repeatedly on Tinder]

Scott: ♫I swipe right on them, Til both my thumbs are stems, Cause everyday's Fat Tuesday in my heart..♫

[A text conversation is shown with every sent message being “Fat Tuesday is coming up”]

Scott: ♫The world doesn't get my passion! They all think Wii Play Motion's a sin!

But it's their loss for they, Got no spare time to waste, This is something I know we should all embrace..!♫

[He tears off his clothes so that he is now wearing the Guy Game suit]

Scott: ♫I'm on a quest! To address all the requests,♫

[He spins a wheel. Every option is “L Button”]

Scott: ♫Please understand this kinda stuff is virgin-etic cache.

We have been blessed, No time to rest, I've got a lot to undress.

You don't need sex, This is better anyways!

It's stupid Nintendo games!♫

Scott: It may be hard to find a place to start - so, might I suggest..?

[He hits a copy of Madden 09 on Wii with a baseball bat, sending the disk flying]

Scott: Not that.

Scott: ♫Might I suggest a Geist to start things out? Then moving on to Pac N' Roll.♫

Chorus: ♫Pac N' Roll...♫

[He removes a cloche from a tray, revealing a copy of Lost in Blue: Shipwrecked and Tetris 2 for NES]

Scott: ♫Lost in Blue and Tetris 2,♫

[He is shown standing in the parking lot of a Kohls, looking around]

Scott: ♫Or whatever's left at Kohl's.♫

[He holds up the box for Nigel Mansell's World Championship Racing for SNES and a copy of Clubhouse Games: 51 Worldwide Classics]

Scott: ♫Nigel Mansell plus Clubhouse Games, Name a better pair to taste.♫

[He holds a copy of Madden 09 on DS]

Scott: ♫If you said Madden '09 and skin,♫

[He is shown sitting at his desk and looking straight at the camera. He points dramatically away from him]

Scott: Get the f*ck out of my face.♫

[It cuts to him opening his front door, revealing Terry Lesler standing in the doorway]

Scott: ♫Please tell me that you understand!♫

Terry Lesler: As a vegan, this fits my diet plan.

[Scott closes the door and opens it again, revealing Target Employee standing there]

Target Employee: They make for great target practice.

[Scott closes and opens the door again, revealing Rex Mohs now standing there]

Rex Mohs: As long as I'm not having sex.

[He closes and opens the door a final time to show Jeb Jab, holding up a copy of Food Network: Cook or Be Cooked]

Jeb Jab: You didn't tell me one of these was f*cking Gex!

[Scott closes the door again and it cuts to black. He is then shown standing in front of a red curtain]

Scott: ♫I shouldn't dwell.♫

Chorus: ♫I shouldn't dwell!♫

Scott: ♫I've got-♫

Scott & Chorus: ♫-no sex to sell!♫

[He is shown throwing Wii Plays onto the floor from a stack of them]

Scott: ♫Take 'em all and distribute 'em, And you're-♫

Scott & Chorus: ♫-spreading Wii Play!♫

Scott: ♫It's so swell these extra copies extra-♫

Scott & Chorus: ♫-ban you from hell!♫

Scott: ♫I've got a FlingSmash to play every single day!♫

Chorus: ♫Every day!♫

Scott: ♫Stupid Nintendo games!♫

Scott: ♫I must confess,♫

Chorus: ♫I must confess!♫

Scott: ♫I might be-♫

Scott & Chorus: ♫-slightly obsessed.♫

Scott: ♫How could I not be?, Have you seen these? I've got-♫

Scott & Chorus: ♫-no shame to blame.♫

Scott: ♫If you're down and feeling blue, And life drops-♫

Scott & Chorus: ♫-in around you.♫

Scott: ♫There's a solution for all that pollution diluting your brain..!♫

[A console dings]

Scott: ''♫Stupid.. Nin.. ten.. do.. Games...!♫''

[He holds a Nintendo DS Stylus]

Scott: Who wants to compare pens?

''This is my one true love; never finding a mate! Look at all these things - the NES games, oh man, Super Mario Brothers 2 is such a funny wet fart of a game. Why did it have to say Mario Madness on the cover? It almost looks like it's supposed to be the subtitle of the game, like- Super Mario Brothers 2.''

[He is shown at his desk]

Scott: Tell me something I don't know.

Scott: Mario Madness.

[He is shown holding a Last Will and Testament for Scott “Will Eventually Take a Look at the First Mega Man” Wozniak (working title). He holds his copy of Mario Bros. 2 up to it]

Scott: Take it.

Scott: River City Ransom - I bought on the Wii shop channel because I heard somebody say it was an 80s equivalent to Grand Theft Auto and man- I wanted a game like that SO BAD!

[Gameplay is shown]

Scott: ''...Oh, man- it's JUST like Grand Theft Auto-! The characters have skin!''

''I like this game because it taught me proper money management. And we all know that stuck.''

[A panning shot of one of his game shelves is shown]

Scott: ''I bought Donkey Kong Jr. Math. How do we know that?''

[He is shown at his desk, holding his phone to his ear. He addresses the camera]

Scott: They're gonna break my legs!

Scott: ''It was an investment. A FUN investment. Oh, how fun was that ten-grand surgery you just had?''

[An eBay listing for the game is shown at $200]

Scott: Lemme spend 200 in peace.

''You've gotta hand it to Nintendo - all the Donkey Kong Jr. fans are off the street now. Why do coke when you can do math?''

''You know, the NES is well-known for all the horrible licensed games but I gotta admit, Back to the Future.. could be worse!''

''Don't get me wrong, it's bad and barely follows the movie but I don't think it's as terrible as something like Ghostbusters or Where's Waldo. Look- my copy has a flick wound. I mean, that says it all right there- last owner must've HATED it.''

[A copy of Where's Waldo? without a flick wound is shown on the floor]

Scott: ”Man- f*ck this game!”

[He flicks the cartridge and it becomes the copy with the flick wound]

Scott: ”Oh, damn it!”

[Gameplay is shown]

Scott: ...Where IS Waldo..?

[He holds Kung-Fu Heroes on NES]

Scott: ''Kung-Fu Heroes! It's been too long- I used to play this at my grandma's house all the time. ...Like, once- I played it once.''

[He holds the Pinball box for NES]

Scott: ''Pinball is a f*cking lie and I'm tired of acting like it isn't. This isn't pinball but when you actually play the game- this IS pinball! You SNAKES!''

[He holds a Nintendo World Championships 1990 and a Nintendo Campus Challenge 1991 Reproduction Cartridge]

Scott: ''The Reproduction Nintendo World Championships and Campus Challenge cartridges. Always a joy to have these as a part of my estate. Do I care these reproductions are not the real deal? Well, no - I bought these two, officially played them on an actual system. Plus, if I owned the originals, I think I would quit my job just to care for them.''

[He is shown standing outside a door that has a sign saying “UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE” on it]

Scott: How do I tell them I quit?

Scott: ''The NES has such a wonderful pantry of simple fun and dogsh*t games. I love this system- though-''

[He holds up a NES controller]

Scott: ''Why does the controller have to be this way? Why can't the buttons be slightly angled? You know, how your thumb is?''

[He holds a newer NES controller. The buttons are angled, but going diagonally left]

Scott: And when they redesigned the controller, they made the button placement WORSE!

[His hand is shown doing a thumbs-up]

Scott: I woke up and my thumbs-

[The thumb is moved to point further right with a crunch]

Scott: -were like this one day.

[He is shown lying in his bed, staring in horror at his hand]

Scott: I was so f*cking happy-

[The Scott in the clip breathes in deeply and starts screaming]

Scott: -I could use this controller!

''Even though these official Nintendo-created NES controllers have a button layout that can definitely wear on the thumb, I.. still love this system.''

''But hey! What about the SUPER Nintendo?! Everybody needs to have a few Super Nintendo games- you're running out of excuses not to. You know, we've already had two world wars; might as well have Plok while you're at it.''

[He puts a cartridge of Plok in a SNES]

Scott: ''I've got one Tetris Attack for you. This one's Tetris Attack.''

[He holds up Tetris Attack]

Scott: ''Easily one of my top favorite Super Nintendo games- and it isn't even REAL! They took this Japanese puzzle game with, dear God, anything but reptiles.. and when bringing it over here, they gave it a reskin with all kinds of Yoshi's Island characters and while we're at it-''

[He holds Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island on SNES]

Scott: ''Yoshi's Island! What a thing! The Super Nintendo has one of the greatest lineups of 2D platformers- but that won't stop me from considering Family Feud-''

[He holds Family Feud for SNES]

Scott: -to be one of my favorite games on the system.

[Gameplay is shown. A question starts being typed out]

Scott: ”What makes the-”

[It cuts to him at the desk, holding a SNES controller]

Scott: Soap    moist.

[The game buzzes incorrect]

Scott: ”Name something kids use-”

Scott: Tonsils.

[The game buzzes incorrect again]

Scott: ”Name something parents save from a first baby to use for a second”.

Scott: FOOD!

[The game buzzes incorrect again]

Scott: ”Name something that's often located in the basement of the house”.

Scott: ..The basement.

[The game buzzes incorrect again]

Scott: ”Name something people start but never finish”.

Scott: Me.

[The game buzzes incorrect again]

Scott: War?

[The game buzzes incorrect again]

Scott: Books of faith!

[The game gives him points for “BOOKS”. It cuts to him holding Doom on SNES]

Scott: Doom's ass-red cartridge - you know- the color of ass!

[It cut to him at his desk, holding the cartridge]

Scott: Right…?

Scott: ''Oh my Go- this version's so BAD! It's impressive they got it on the Super Nintendo in general but it's just not powerful enough for a game like this.''

[He holds Wolfenstein 3-D]

Scott: ''Wolfenstein 3D works better but it's heavily censored, which is kinda bizarre. Like, would you really be that surprised playing a game called Wolfenstein 3D?''

[It cuts to him at the desk, holding the game cartridge. He looks at the camera in shock]

Scott: Hitler?!

Scott: At least Doom has the colored cartridge, like- Killer Instinct!

[The red Doom cartridge and black Killer Instinct cartridge are shown on the shelf alongside the other gray cartridges]

Scott: This is a fun way to annoy me.

[He holds Super Punch Out on SNES]

Scott: ''Super Punch Out's weird. Like, the NES game is the most famous- it's one of my favorites on that console- but who the hell talks about the Super Nintendo one?''

''Nothing wrong with it - it's just the controls and sound effects don't feel as good as the original NES. To anybody who disagrees: I'll see you in court.''

[It cuts to black and the text “One Verdict Later” appears on screen. Scott is shown standing in a courtroom in a suit]

Scott: Crucifixion's a bit harsh.

Scott: ''Donkey Kong Country 3 - the one I just CAN'T own. I've never legally owned this game.. if you don't believe me, look through my tax records.''

[He is shown holding up blank piece of paper]

Scott: See no Donkey.

''I did beat the original Donkey Kong Country- great game. I did it with the rewind feature on the SNES Online app on Nintendo Switch. Do I deserve to have hands? Nah- I only felt the need to use it when this part came up; where differently colored ropes do differently colored things.''

[A piece of paper reading “EXCUSES FOR THE DAY”, “1. You're color blind. Stop trying.” is shown pinned to the wall]

Scott: I looked at my excuses for the day and considered this to be a rewind-warranting event.

''The Super Nintendo is such a cozy corner of gaming - games were still simple at their core back then... but they had so much more depth now.''

''A game like Super Mario World is pretty much in line with the Mario games on NES, but this one just goes so much deeper than that. It has a map screen that eventually tells you to go f*ck yourself!''

''A Link to the Past is a full realization of what the original Legend of Zelda on NES was doing. Super Metroid is the same, Super Castlevania 4, Mega Man X, Kirby Superstar- this is where many of gaming's greatest franchises of all time, to tons of fans, peaked. It doesn't get much better than this.''

[He holds the Super Mario Kart box]

Scott: ...But you ever wonder what the hell is up with these boxes?

''What is this design? It makes no sense! You know what'll get people to want Super Nintendo games?''

[It cuts to him at his desk. He claps his hands together and points]

Scott: Geometry.

Scott: ''And the fact these boxes are cardboard? Puh-lease. I mean, it was excusable on the NES- here, it's damn-near INEXCUSABLE!''

The Nintendo 64's a solid rebound - if, by solid, you mean painful.

Good thing I only see-

[He is shown walking into a wall]

Scott: -in 5 frames a second.

''Nah- it's a great system! It just isn't as slam-dunkish as the other ones. Like, it obviously has its downsides; it.. doesn't age that well for one. This generation of gaming as a whole doesn't, really- like, you consistently still see new games come out mimicking 8 and 16 bit style graphics. Nobody would be caught dead trying to resurrect this.''

[He holds a Mario Party cartridge]

Scott: ''At least we got Mario Party 1 out of it all; the greatest party game ever told. In reality, it may be a repetitive, unpolished go at the franchise that only started to get bad after it got good nine entries in but in my heart… it is the quickest lobotomy I've ever had.''

[He holds the Super Smash Bros. box]

Scott: Super Smash Brothers.

[He holds the cartridge]

Scott: Look at that real cartridge!

[It cuts to the cartridge on the floor]

Scott: This ain't no holographic trick- if it was, could I do this?

[A hammer is swung down onto the cartridge, piercing it with the claw end]

Scott: See, it's real.

''The start to one of the most fun gaming franchises to discuss - whether you're into the competitive scene or just like talking how different noses look between games. Smash Brothers just kinda brings everybody together and the original on Nintendo 64, while incredibly simple.. still holds up to some extent.''

[He holds the cartridge for Mario Kart 64]

Scott: Mario Kart 64 - many consider it to be the greatest kart-racer of all time; I consider it to be that game where Yoshi looks weird.

Twenty bones to whoever can tell me what this is.

[He holds a cartridge of The New Tetris]

Scott: The New Tetris - oh yeah, because-

[He slides Tetris 64 onto the screen]

Scott: -this sh*t was old.

[He holds a Glover cartridge]

Scott: GLOVER!

[It cuts to him opening a door, revealing a large, dilapidated room with a single cartridge of Glover in the center]

Scott: Can you believe I have a room for a game I never played?

[It cuts to him at his desk]

Scott: [offended] What do you mean “yes”?!

[He holds Yoshi's Story]

Scott: Yoshi's Story is this bizarre take on a Yoshi's Island successor - it's still pretty good, but it's so similar yet so different from any other Yoshi game.

''You gotta eat fruit- you don't just get to the end of a level, just do what my dietician said and eat thirty fruit. So, we gotta just find thirty pieces of fruit and then we move on to the next level.. it's kind of an interesting direction - hopefully the next Yoshi game does something just as unique-''

[Yoshi Touch & Go is shown with the text “NO” and a buzzer sound]

Scott: The same thin-

[Yoshi's Island DS is shown with the text “NUH UH” and an incorrect buzzer sound]

Scott: Are good-

[Yoshi's New Island is shown with the text “OH CHIRST” and an incorrect buzzer sound]

Scott: ''My go-to game on this console will forever be Super Mario 64. “Oh, wow, Scott- next you're gonna tell us your lungs' favorite food is air”. I can't help it! My body knows what it likes. The Nintendo 64 is a console I've learned to love - though, it's far from my favorite.''

''That's definitely because of these damn cartridges. Nintendo, c'mon- no end labels?! I need to know if this is Glover or not!''

[A shelf with seven N64 cartridges lined up on it is shown. Scott picks up the one on the far right and looks at the label, showing that it is Glover]

Scott: Oh, thank God.

[He puts the cartridge down and takes another. It is also Glover]

Scott: Oh, thank God.

[He stacks it on the other cartridge. The next game on the shelf he picks up is also Glover]

Scott: Oh, thank God.

[He puts it down and takes another Glover cartridge]

Scott: Oh, thank God.

[He holds a GameBoy]

Scott: ''There's something about that original GameBoy that's just so endearing. But guys- the FIRST handheld game console because who wants to admit the Microvision exists?''

[He holds a Microvision]

Scott: ''I mean, this thing is perfection with a Tetris cartridge in it. B-but I have The New Tetris now. F*ck you.''

[He puts an Alleyway cartridge in the GameBoy]

Scott: ''Alleyway is a fun one- it launched with the system and is a direct clone of Breakout. But I think to this day Nintendo avoids the question; they refuse to admit it.''

''It's one of those older Nintendo titles where they threw Mario in it for no reason. See that stick?''

[It cuts to him at the desk. He points at the GameBoy in his hands]

Scott: That's Mario.

Scott: Well now I gotta play it.

''These early GameBoy games are so cute. They're so simple but they know what they are and they don't try to bite off more than they can chew. That is a definite problem with a few titles for the handheld; they just try to take some NES or SNES game an' shrink it down and expect it to work.''

[He holds the Donkey Kong Land 2 cartridge]

Scott: Donkey Kong Land; it's Donkey Kong Country on the go.

[Gameplay is shown. It cuts to the desk]

Scott: You know, I just discovered I can take a sh*t on the go- all I have to do is sh*t my pants.

[He holds Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins and The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening]

Scott: ''Even some o' the best games on here, like Link's Awakening and Super Mario Land 2 - I mean, they are STRUGGLING with the limitations of the GameBoy at times. And yet, these are still such treasured products to me.. sometimes it's nice to go back to a time where THIS-''

[A GameBoy Pocket appears on screen]

Scott: ''Was all that was available in terms of handheld on-the-go gaming. You couldn't play The Witcher 3 at ONLY 540p portably - you had to SETTLE.''

''And with all these limitations, developers still delivered well-designed and fun games. Tetris is what it is because of the GameBoy.''

[A timeline is shown on screen. It starts in 1989 with “GameBoy” and goes right to “Pokémon” in 1996 and ends in 2003]

Scott: Pokémon came out at what was supposed to be the end of the GameBoy's life and yep-

[The word “Discontinued” appears above 2003 on the timeline]

Scott: -that's something you don't wanna do on your deathbed:

[He holds a Pokémon Red cartridge]

Scott: Release Pokémon.

''Interesting concept.. you collect and battle creatures. Let's try it out.''

[He puts the cartridge into the GameBoy. The title screen is shown. He presses the start button. It cuts to the desk]

Scott: ''There- I tried Pokémon. Ya happy?''

Scott: ''But I mean, Nintendo knew the GameBoy was starting to show its age - that's why we got the GameBoy Color. The full successor to the original GameBoy. ...Full successor, I swear to Christ.''

[It cuts to the desk again]

Scott: [grinning] We grow closer to my death every time I say that.

Scott: ''How could it not be?! So many sources group GameBoy and GameBoy Color together- bullsh*t gaming journalists who don't know anything. People like Nintendo.''

''Listen.. I get it. But the GameBoy Color had too many exclusive games for me to NOT consider it a full-fledged successor. I'll admit it's just a technical upgrade to the original GameBoy... when I finish the Minish Cap.''

I adore the old-school GameBoy experience but it is FAR from perfect.

[He is shown using the GameBoy]

Scott: ''Guess why. Now, the GameBoy Advance; THAT'S where things start to pick up.''

[He is shown using the GameBoy Advance]

Scott: ...I bet this game looks pretty fun.

[A GBA and and SNES are shown hanging from the top of the screen with string]

Scott: ''The GBA was like a portable Super Nintendo, but that's kind of all it is to me. I feel like so much of this handheld's identity revolved around games for other consoles.''

[Super Mario World: Super Mario Advance 2 for GBA and Super Mario World for SNES are shown]

Scott: Oh my God- Super Mario World is here!

[The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past for GBA and The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past for SNES are shown]

Scott: And A Link to the Past!

[Kirby: Nightmare in Dream Land for GBA and Kirby's Adventure on Famicom are shown]

Scott: ..And Kirby!

[Metroid: Zero Mission for GBA and Metroid (Japan) are shown]

Scott: ..And Metroid.

[Donkey Kong Country for GBA and Donkey Kong Country on N64 are shown]

Scott: And Donkey Kong!

''I mean, it was a dream come true to be able to play these classic games on the go in all their glory, but what does the GameBoy Advance have to call its own? “It's Mr Pants?”''

''To be fair, there's quite a few games on this little guy, including Mario Vs. Donkey Kong - a followup to Donkey Kong on the original GameBoy. This game was the best! It's like you'd just expect it to just be Donkey Kong from the arcades on the go - in reality - it scares the f*ck outta me.''

[It cuts to the desk, where he is playing on the GameBoy]

Scott: Well, that's the end of Donkey Kong-

[Gameplay is shown of Donkey Kong recovering. It cuts back to the desk. He screams and holds the GameBoy away from him]

Scott: ''It keeps going after the original arcade game ends and is this meaty puzzle platformer- it's amazing! Plus it has this exclusive border on Super GameBoy for the Super Nintendo.''

''Yeah, now I can play my GameBoy games.. on the big screen.. in a house.. while I'm right next to a ceiling.''

[He is shown touching the ceiling as he holds a SNES with a Super GameBoy in one hand and a SNES controller in the other]

Scott: God works.

''The Super GameBoy is pretty rad- it has all these settings you can tweak - you can change the border- make your own border, for all I care. But it can't play GameBoy Color or GameBoy Advance Games. For that, you'll need the Super GameBoy 2- only released in Japan.''

''Look- it's clear like a GameBoy Color cartridge, it's color.. like the GameBoy Color! It shows a GameBoy Color on the box, it released around the GameBoy Color's release - the Super GameBoy 2 must play GameBoy Color.''

[It cuts to the desk]

Scott: It doesn't, does it?

[A screen from Donkey Kong Country that says “THIS GAME IS DESIGNED ONLY FOR USE ON GAME BOY COLOR.” is shown]

Scott: ''Looks like we have to move up a generation or two to the GameCube, with the GameBoy Player. Right, so this is a bit more of a mess; instead of a regular cartridge, we gotta screw this on the bottom, plus pop the start-up disk in. The last thing the GameBoy Player arc of my life needed was a start-up disk.''

Well, when we get in there…

[The start-up sequence is shown]

Scott: ''I mean, it's playing the GameBoy games, AND Color, and Advance as well. But this thing reeks of anti-personality - compared to the Super GameBoy, I was worried that thing was gonna f*ck my wife. Look at how cool it is! Here, this is just the most convenient means of playing the entire GameBoy line. I'm too bored to yawn.''

''But it's still a lifesaver of a device and all more reason why the GameCube reigns supreme. My favorite console. Many would assume it's the Wii or Wii U...''

[He holds Odama for GameCube]

Scott: They didn't have Odama.

''Nintendo was firing at all cylinders on this console. Pretty much every one of their franchises got major installments here. Mario, Zelda, Metroid, Donkey Kong, Smash Brothers, F-Zero, StarFox, Animal Crossing, Fire Emblem, Wario, WaveRace, 1080, Pikmin, Paper Mario, Mario Kart, Party, Golf, Tennis, Baseball, Strikers- Odama? Odama. Odama?!''

[He holds a copy of Geist for GameCube]

Scott: Geist is funny.

''Nintendo published a first-person shooter. About ghosts. I was hoping they'd follow it up with an RPG about bees.''

[He holds Luigi's Mansion]

Scott: ''Luigi's Mansion is such an interesting game - like, you explore this haunted mansion and finish the game three hours later. I'd say the following games in the series took the general gameplay of 'Luigi with vacuum' and ran with it more. But they will never live up to the amount of ambiance this original game has. You can just FEEL how haunted this place is- it's such a fun experience.''

[He holds a copy of Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix]

Scott: Dance Dance Revolution Mario Mix because I only do what Mario tells me to.

[It cuts to his desk, where he is holding a piece of paper that says “MARIO LARCENY”]

Scott: Why not?

Scott: ''It sure is Dance Dance Revolution and this is the only DR game ON the GameCube and that's weird. Out of all platforms to put that game on during this generation... just the PS2 and Xbox.''

[Dance Dance Revolution Extreme for PS2, Dance Dance Revolution Ultramix for Xbox and Dance Dance Revolution X2 for PS2 are shown]

Scott: ...not the system with customers willing to buy stupid plastic bullsh*t for it.

[The DDR Mario Mix Action Pad box set is shown alongside the pad itself. The GameCube microphone is then shown]

Scott: ''The GameCube microphone.. used for Mario Party 6, Odama and-''

[He is shown at the desk, screaming into the microphone]

Scott: -eviction notices.

[The Donkey Kong Bongos GameCube accessory is shown]

Scott: The DK Bongos- different game, same story.

[He is shown at the desk, rapidly drumming on the bongos]

Scott: ''See- the GameCube still did a lot of that weird Nintendo bullsh*t.. but it also had... a normal controller and amazing games - you got the best of both worlds!''

''Of course, looking at it critically, though.. the third-party support was definitely one of its weaker elements. It was definitely better than something like the Nintendo 64, but most third-party games were.. for the kids.''

''Sure, we got our Resident Evils and Sonic the Hedgehogs.. Metal Gear Solid Twin Snakes, Super Monkey Ball, Beyond Good and Evil, Tales of Symphonia... But the other consoles had Grand Theft Auto 3.''

''Also, I love this controller.. but why is the D-pad so small? Why is the C-stick so tiny? Why only one Z button?! Why the region locking? I can't easily play Japanese games on my console- I know that's a thing on multiple systems but I just wanna play Nintendo Puzzle Collection in PEACE!''

''I have to use an Action Replay disk to even kinda play it and BAM. Beautiful.''

This was one of my only cheat devices - I could use it to-

[The gameplay of Super Mario Sunshine freezes and crashes]

Scott: ...Not play Mario Sunshine.

''I also have Dream Mix TV World Fighters- a Smash Brothers clone featuring Bomber Man and Simon Belmont and Optimus Prime. It's just missing Master Higgins.''

[The gameplay shows Master Higgins. Scott gasps. He holds The Legend of the Quiz Tournament of Champions]

Scott: ''I also have The Legend of the Quiz Tournament of Champions - a trivia game published by Nintendo. You can play as Jeff Foxworthy.''

''...You gotta appreciate and despise these Japanese game boxes; they're cute and cool but the outer sleeve is so easily loseable and damageable. But that's about all I can say, I can only really go on for about 45 more minutes.''

[He holds a Nintendo 64 controller. He rotates the control stick and repeatedly presses the L button]

Scott: There are only a few things in this world I could talk about for over 23 minutes.

''At least the Wii had the purest white game boxes known to man- a smoker's mortal enemy. God- I mean, the GameCube may be my favorite system, but the Wii is just so interesting! It had exactly what people wanted and none of what they wanted.''

''Like, c'mon- games for your stupid f*ckin' uncle like Wii Fit and Calvin Tucker. But then for the core audiences you got Zelda, Metroid, Donkey Kong, Mario- Sin and Punishment! A sequel to a Japan-only cult-classic shooter on the Nintendo 64 - who would've expected that?!''

''Goldeneye 007 on Wii is one of my favorites- a reimagining of the Nintendo 64 classic. A lot of die-hards don't like this one because it's basically just Call of Duty but some bundles came with a golden Classic Controller Pro- the original didn't do THAT.''

''Super Mario Galaxy IS my favorite game of all time, thank you very much - the pinnacle.. of Space Mario. It's just such a magical feeling playing this game. Even over a decade later.. and I'm sure by the time it's twenty and I'm battling some kind of fun new disease.. it'll still be.''

''But the Wii was when anybody over the age of forty started throwing a tantrum over using motion controls. I don't know- this ball segment of Mario Galaxy always gets brought up and I never thought it was that bad. But come back to me in seventeen years- I'll be bald and hate it.''

Even the casual experiences on Wii I love-

[A stack of Wii games is shown on the floor - Wii Sports, Wii Play, Wii Fit and Wii Music. He names them as he takes them off the top of the stack]

Scott: Wii Sports, Play, Fit, Trauma.

''Big Brain Academy Wii Degree is an awesome multiplayer game, Smarty Pants is still one of my favorite generic trivia games. Family Feud Decades?! “Name one of baseball's great all-time sluggers”.''

[It cuts to the desk, where he is holding a Wii Remote]

Scott: The only baseball team I know - Harlem Globetrotters!

[The game announces “Is your answer there?”. An incorrect buzzer is heard as an X appears]

Scott: ”Name a song made famous by Elvis Presley”.

Scott: ''Uh.. Eek Its Elvis.''

[The buzzer is heard again with another X]

Scott: ”Name a game that all the kids in the neighbourhood can play together.”

Scott: ...Polyamory..?

[The game buzzes incorrect again]

Scott: As much as I love this system, again - it's not perfect.

[He holds a Wii Nunchuk]

Scott: ''Whenever a game asks me to shake the Nunchuk - man, but like- this thing was not meant as a shaking device. It has the weight of an empty pencil cup.''

''The amount of shovelware. ...I actually kinda like.''

[A pile of Wii shovelware games is shown]

Scott: Sure, these things may be filling a landfill somewhere but I'm sure I can find some use for them someday.

[He holds a copy of Madden 08 on Wii]

Scott: Let's not forget the Wii had such classics as Vince Young starring in Madden '08.

[It cuts to the desk. He is holding his Madden 08 collection]

Scott: Every story has a Christ figure.

[He holds Madden 09 All-Play on Wii]

Scott: And then followed up by the most disappointing sequel to Christ I've ever seen; Brett Favre starring in Madden '09.

[He holds Madden 09 for DS]

Scott: ...Go f*ck yourself.

''And Jesus Christ- games on this console can be HIDEOUS! This was the dropping off point for developers who kinda cared. They either did or they didn't on the Wii - there's no inbetween. The same can sorta be said about the Nintendo DS - like, you were either playing one of the greatest games of all time.. Or Chrono Trigger.''

''The DS, man, so many.. STUPID f*cking things came out here but it has one of the best libraries as well. Though, on the Nintendo first-party side of things.. it was a little weak.''

[He holds 100 Classic Books]

Scott: ''100 Classic Books. C'mon- I wanna read, not count.''

''DS games look so chunky now; whether they're 3D or 2D - they just all look so.. DS.''

''Let's not forget the touchscreen - everybody lost their stylus but I never did. Doesn't even matter- you can use anything on this screen. Fingers. Car keys.''

Using the stylus for PictoChat or for Mario 64 DS if I was trying to find new ways to embarrass myself.

[He holds the Nintendo DS Browser box]

Scott: ''The Nintendo DS Browser - I bought this before knowing what a WiFi connection was. I will never get those thirty dollars back.''

''The DS is great but I do feel like it has aged a bit more than other handhelds. It's in this weird purgatory of just powerful enough to do 3D graphics but barely. But then even the 2D stuff doesn't look the hottest.''

''Well most of the problems with the DS were rectified with the Nintendo 3DS - however, it had an opposite problem. DS had great third-party support, iffy first-party; 3DS had amazing first-party support but then barely any of the third-parties cared.''

[Combat of Giants: Dinosaurs 3D, Nascar Unleashed and Madden NFL Football for 3DS are shown]

Scott: ''Ubisoft, Activision, EA - they all tried for like.. one year and then just.. gave up.''

[The scene cuts to show a toilet]

Scott: But it didn't matter because we got-

[He holds up a copy of Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash and shakes it as he makes an angry noise. He throws the game into the toilet]

Scott: ''Christ- Metroid Prime Federation Force?! Mario Party The Top 100?! Tri Force Heroes?! Mario Sports Superstars?! Pokémon Rumble Blast?! Yoshi's New Island?! Paper Mario Sticker Star?! Hey.. PIKMIN?!''

[He holds a Nintendo Switch]

Scott: There's the Nintendo Switch, guys!

[He moves the Switch down to show Switch games on the shelf]

Scott: Oh my God - isn't Super Bomberman R so quirky and unique?!

[The Super Bomberman R game box has a unique logo instead of default text like the other games. The Nintendo Switch eShop is shown]

Scott: Nintendo- who's running your eShop now?!

[He holds a red JoyCon sideways]

Scott: Oh, great, a controller for RATS!

[He holds a copy of Bravely Default II]

Scott: ''Bravely Default 2-? Is that a SENTENCE?!''

''Daemon X Machina - this is still medically.. the only game.. with a 60 or above on Metacritic.. to have given me pinkeye.''

Paper Mario The Origami King?!

[It cuts to the desk]

Scott: F*ck it.

[He slams his hand down. His hand is shown slapping a button that has the label “DISAPPOINT FANS BUTTON” on it. It cuts to show the silhouette of a Wii U]

Scott: Oh, but we skipped over an important console, here.

[The image of a SEGA Master System appears in the Wii U silhouette]

Scott: ...The SEGA Master System.

[He holds up a SEGA Master System]

Scott: It's so charmingly pathetic.

[He moves the console down to show that he has eight Wii U boxes in front of his game shelves. He pauses before breathing in deeply]

Scott: ''What the f*ck is this?! Who asked for this?! Why do I have to look between the TV and GamePad to change system settings?!''

''”Nintendo TV”- HAHAHAHA! FUCK YOU!''

Yeah- why not publish Devil's Third, Nintendo?

[He holds a Wii U Microphone and a Wii U GamePad]

Scott: The Wii U Microphone exists- there's a God damn mic on the GAMEPAD!

[He shows Resident Evil: Revelations and Deus Ex Human Revolution Director's Cut on his shelves]

Scott: Why are these two cases black?

[He shows StarFox Guard on his shelf]

Scott: Why is this one cream color?!

[He shows Wii Sports Club on his shelf]

Scott: Why does this one not have the blue ridge?!

Why remake Wii SPORTS?!

Why swap between controllers so much?!

Why in Super Mario 3D World's multiplayer does this big blue BORDER APPEAR?!

[It cuts to the desk]

Scott: God - every thing Nintendo's done, I have something to BITCH about!

[It cuts to him holding a dripping copy of Flingsmash]

Scott: Why is this wet?!

[It cuts to him holding a copy of Donkey Kong Barrel Blast]

Scott: Why does this repel virginity?!

And again-

[He holds up 3D World]

Scott: -In Mario 3D World- why in multiplayer does this big blue border appear?!

[The brief gameplay footage of the multiplayer border fades out as a dramatic sting plays. A slight shadow appears underneath the blue border on the video. Discovering The Border plays]

Scott: ''I get that it's supposed to tell you that the players are too far apart- but it comes outta nowhere, it sometimes doesn't leave, and it's just always there - mocking me! Just like every shape I've ever met! Where does this blue border get OFF?!''

[He throws the game on the floor and pauses. He looks to the right]

Scott: Wait..

[He looks left]

Scott: ''It.. feels like..''

[He looks up and around him. The camera moves further back. The music intensifies as he looks around him frantically. He mutters fearfully]

Scott: ...Go away!

[He bats at the air]

Scott: I hate shapes!

[He tries to run but realizes that the border has followed him. He backs away from either side of the border and into a corner]

Scott: This- this how it's always been..?!

[He runs to the desk and places a blue binder on it. He opens the cover and shows that the first page is filled with screencaps from the first ten Scott The Woz episodes- including the blue border around them. The camera zooms in on the photos dramatically. Scott looks in horror and shakes his head. He turns the page. The other side of the first page and the next are also filled with screencaps up to episode 29. He continues to flick through the pages as the camera zooms in further to the visible blue borders. He is shown still looking horrified. He looks away and brings his phone to his ear]

Scott: ..It's me.

Jerry Attricks: [From phone] I know a lot of “me”s.

[The music ends as it cuts to an exterior shot of a barrel-shaped building and its parking lot. An illuminated sign next to the building says “The Think Barrel”, “FRIDAY NIGHT IS LADIES NIGHT”. It is raining and lightning flashes in the distance]

[The scene changes to the interior of the building, where Scott sits down on a couch]

Scott: Thanks for having me on such short notice.

[Jerry Attricks is shown sitting on an armchair next to a table with a plant in a pot and some books. He has a clipboard and pen in his hands]

Jerry: We offer express checkouts for a reason!

[Scott is shown holding a piece of paper]

Scott: I just really needed to talk to somebody-

[He turns the piece of paper around to show that it says “Dr. Jerry Attricks Ph D”]

Scott: -with a PhD.

[He hands it over to Jerry, who takes it]

Jerry: I don't have a PhD.

[He draws on the piece of paper and hands it back]

Jerry: They forgot the U.

[Scott looks over the piece of paper]

Scott: ..You have “PhuD”?

Jerry: I have PhuD.

Scott: Listen, man- I feel like I'm goin' crazy here!

Jerry: Heheh- Yeah, I remember my first time.

[Scott counts on his fingers]

Scott: I can't sleep, I haven't eaten in DAYS!

Jerry: ''Oh, God! Here- have this!''

[He hands Scott a cereal bar]

Scott: Eh- blueberry..?

Jerry: ''Maybe this is linked to something. Firstly, sign this confirming your consent to my research.''

[He holds out his clipboard and pen to Scott, who takes it and signs it]

Scott: [nonchalant] ''Eh, yeah. Sure. I trust words.''

[He hands it back]

Jerry: Consent is the highest form of flattery!

Scott: I thought it was constipation.

Jerry: ''Okay. So are you financially unstable?''

Scott: No, I've never paid taxes; you save a lot of money doin' that.

Jerry: Are you depressed?

Scott: It IS affecting my happiness.

Jerry: I can prescribe you liquor..!

Scott: Do you even know what I'm talking about?

Jerry: As your therapist, I'll give you the same answer I give all my patients - no.

Scott: ''Okay- well... everything I see… there's this blue border around it all.''

Jerry: ''That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard! And I've had patients that murdered!''

Scott: Seeing a border is more absurd than murderers?

Jerry: They make great arguments.

Scott: ''I just don't know what it is! I recently noticed it and looking back.. I feel like it's been obscuring my vision for as long as I can remember.''

[He points at the floor]

Scott: What if there's something down there I can't see that it's blocking?!

Jerry: Oh, it's just carpet.

[He leans forward and inspects the floor]

Jerry: ''And it is looking pretty good today. Wish you could see it.''

Scott: ''See- you gotta HELP ME! My sanity's at stake here!''

[Jerry writes on his clipboard]

Jerry: ''Uh-oh! Somebody's got a case o' the Mondays..!''

Scott: ''Fine. You're right. It's.. probably not a big deal- this month has.. probably just been really hard on me.''

Jerry: ''Don't whine. We've all been through April.''

Scott: ''Maybe 'cause I talk about stupid Nintendo games so much - that's all I do. ...Maybe I'm overdosing.''

Jerry: ''Might I suggest a new hobby? I recommend a book to discover new things to get into:''

[He holds up a small book]

Jerry: ”Stupid Bullsh*t For Dummies”.

Scott: ''I don't know what else I'm good at! ..What about you? Do you have any talents?''

Jerry: ''I.. have a foot fetish.''

Scott: Really?

Jerry: ''Not yet! I'm trying to branch out of therapism. It'd be more interesting for my epitaph.''

[Looks looks to the side in thought for a moment]

Scott: ..So would you be willing to do an experiment?

Jerry: ''As somebody with a foot fetish would say... mmyeah!''

[The scene cuts to show the dark and cloudy sky. It is raining and the moon is visible and glowing. Lightning strikes. It fades to show a door with two pieces of paper taped to it. The pink piece of paper says “YOU'RE ENTERING THE MUSHROOM GORGE” and the second, taped to the first, says “NO SEX ALLOWED”. It then cuts to show Scott sitting in his bed, adjusting his pillows. Jerry sits beside the bed and looks around the room]

Jerry: Nice bed.

[He points at the blue pillows]

Jerry: Those pillows real?

[Scott stops and glances at the pillows]

Scott: ..Yeah.

So- call me crazy, here- but I think I'm f*cked in the head.

Jerry: ''Maybe my other patients can help you. My murder clients can turn you on to some new hobbies.''

Scott: No, I want you to knock me out.

Jerry: ''Oh, c'mon! I'm a therapist, not a doctor.''

Scott: ''Please! Just analyze my brain while I'm out of it.''

[He points at his head]

Scott: We gotta figure out what's goin' on here!

Jerry: ''With what? That CAT scanner-''

[He points. A CAT scanner is shown]

Jerry: -in the corner over there?

[Scott nods gently]

Scott: ...Yes.

Jerry: ''Oh-ho-no! I'm not doin' it! You never walked over there to get me a box!''

Scott: ''Hey. Here's a flashlight to look in my ear- go wild.''

Jerry: ''Huh! Well you're in good hands!''

[Jerry takes the flashlight from Scott]

Jerry: I'm quite knowledgeable on head.

Scott: What did you get on your SAT?

Jerry: ''Ho-ho-ho! A LOT!''

Scott: Oh, well that's good - I feel safe-

[Jerry whacks him in the head with a frying pan. The screen cuts to black. The scene then changes as Scott stands up with a pained groan, holding his head. He looks around. The camera moves back to show that he is in a red place with black swirling shapes in the background. His voice is echoey]

Scott: Holy sh*t- I DO have a head.

[It cuts back to Jerry holding the frying pan next to the unconscious Scott]

Jerry: Holy sh*t- he does have a head.

[Scott is shown walking to the right, looking around]

Scott: So this is what a brain looks like.

[The camera moves even further back]

Scott: It looks fine.

[He looks up]

Scott: Hey, Jerry!

[It cuts back to Jerry]

Jerry: One sec- I'm making sure I don't-

[He is shown writing “HEAD” on Scott's forehead with a Sharpie, having also labelled his face with “CHEEK”, “CHIN” and “UPPERLIP”]

Jerry: -get confused, here..

[It cuts back to Scott. Silent clips from previous episodes of Scott The Woz drift in from the left in the background]

Scott: ''Oh, man! All my memories!''

[He points at the clip from Viral Games ]

Scott: That's when I saw a white guy!

[He points at a clip from the The WiiWare Chronicles ]

Scott: That's when I WAS a white guy!

[He points at the clip from Definitive Editions ]

Scott: [excited] My favorite water!

[He gestures at the clip from The Guy Game ]

Scott: When I was horny..

[He gestures at the clip from Anime Games ]

Scott: When I met anime..

[He gestures at the clip from The Great Mysteries of Gaming ]

Scott: ''When all my friends died..! Oh, take me back..!''

[He stands with his hands on his hips and smiles for a moment before his smile falls]

Scott: ...Have a blue border around them.

[It cuts to Jerry shining the flashlight at Scott's ear]

Jerry: ''You found the blue border? Kick it's ass!''

Scott: ''I can't do that; I can never compete with a shape. They always win- remember that gun that shot me?''

[He gestures with his hands]

Scott: ...Shape.

Jerry: ''I know how you feel. My dad's killer was a shape.''

Scott: ''I just don't get it-! Like- why is it here?! Why has this border always been a part of my life?! Why can't I escape it?! Why doesn't anybody ELSE see it?!''

Jerry: ''Maybe you need to relax. How 'bout a-''

[He pulls up a pillow and places it over Scott's face]

Jerry: -nice pillow to the face?

[Inside Scott's brain, everything flashes red and an alarm blares. Scott looks up and around]

Scott: ''That's.. killing me.''

[Jerry takes the pillow away]

Jerry: Oh, I'm sorry.

[He takes out a gun and puts it to Scott's head]

Jerry: Maybe a GUN to your head will take your mind off things!

Scott: I appreciate the help but I think I'm just gonna wake up, go to the desk and whine about…

[He looks around]

Scott: Ah.

[He leans over and picks up a disk from the ground]

Scott: Brink.

[Suddenly, all of the red in the background turns blue as the blue border becomes much thicker. Scott looks around. Experiment in Bed plays]

Scott: ..What was that?

[Jerry nods]

Jerry: Words.

[It cuts back to Scott, who stands in the center and looks around him at the edges of the screen fearfully]

Scott: No… I think the border just got bigger..!

[It cuts back to Jerry, who is holding Scott's limp wrist]

Jerry: ''That's impossible! Never occured to you to not be brain dead? And your pulse stopped thirty seconds ago!''

Scott: Well- resuscitate me!

[It cuts back to Jerry, who has crossed his arms]

Jerry: I didn't hear a “please”.

[Scott runs back and forth frantically]

Scott: ''Oh my God- I wanna get outta here! I just wanna talk about stupid Nintendo games!''

[The border suddenly grows bigger to fill everything except for a medium-sized trapezoid space in the center where Scott is]

Scott: ..Old E3s..?

[The border grows again, surrounding Scott and pinning his arms to his sides]

Scott: ..Geist..?

[The border grows again, completely filling the screen. Suddenly, Scott tears through the blue like paper, clambering to his feet and panting in fear as he runs offscreen. It cuts back to Jerry, who is holding a cloth]

Jerry: Maybe a cold washcloth-

[He places it over Scott's face]

Jerry: ''-will revitalize you. Nope-!''

[He picks up a bottle of water and unscrews the cap]

Jerry: It's not wet enough!

[He goes to pour the water over the cloth. It cuts to Scott, looking around, scared. Closing In begins to play. Scott looks in fear at a tunnel of blue borders that fade into existence in front of him]

Scott: ♫It starts off the same for every week,♫

[A mosaic of clips from previous episodes appear behind him]

Scott: ♫And ends with a game on PS3.♫

[The blue endscreen falls down behind him and he turns to look]

Scott: ♫Pick something right out of the drawer,♫

[A clip of him taking Madden 08 in a bag out of a drawer is shown]

Scott: ♫Then hold it up against the floor!

Spew some junk about no sex, Then a vegan comes just to say "Gex"!♫

[Clips of Jeb Jab at Scott's front door are shown from The Dark Age of Nintendo series and Memory Cards ]

Scott: ♫At the desk, look like a hoarder, Surrounded by some big blue border!

I just want to break the mold, To not follow a path.

But every week my life involves, Mentioning Barrel Blast.

Scott: (♫It's closing in...♫)

Scott: ♫My screen is all burned in!♫

Scott: (♫It's closing in...♫)

Scott: ♫I always have that stupid grin.♫

[He points at a clip of him grinning at the desk]

Scott: (♫It's closing in...♫)

Scott: ♫And just like my virginity, I'm worried this 1080p outline's here for infinity!♫

Scott: (♫I'm on the border...♫)

Scott: ♫Does my whole life need a giant watermark?!♫

Scott: (♫Of.. starting over...♫)

Scott: ♫I truly really never noticed something so stark?!♫

Scott: (♫Why.. is it this way...?♫)

Scott: ♫These are some deep questions--♫ This is getting too philosophical for me.

[Scott is shown screaming as he falls from the top of the screen]

Scott: (♫Blue from feeling like I'm suffocating...♫)

Scott: ♫To lay it on the line, it's closing in on me!♫

[A mosaic of clips from previous episodes fade in, all synced up to say “Hey all, Scott here” at the same time]

[Instrumental]

Scott: (♫It's closing in...♫)

Scott: ♫It's always been this way?♫

Scott: (♫It's closing in...!♫)

Scott: ♫Not sure if that's okay…♫

Scott: (♫It's closing in...!♫)

Scott: ♫Constantly from day to day, To lay it on the line, it's closing in on m-

[The music ends as it suddenly cuts back to show Scott waking up with a gasp. Jerry looks at the washcloth and water bottle in his hands]

Jerry: I gotta remember this for next time.

[The scene cuts to show Rex Mohs in a hospital gown running into the room]

Rex: When I heard you were in the hospital, I dropped everything and came straight here.

[Scott is shown to be in a hospital bed, wearing a gown and staring into the distance. He is hooked up to an IV drip and a nasal cannula. Jerry sits next to him. He puts a finger over his mouth]

Jerry: Sh!

[He gestures over his shoulder with his thumb]

Jerry: There's a library across the street!

[Terry is shown walking in]

Terry: ''He-hey! How's our pre-corpse doin?''

[Jeb walks in]

Jeb: ''Oh, man! I've been trying to get into this place for years!''

[Target Employee walks in]

Target Employee: I called 911 - I asked them how you were doin'.

[Scott points at his phone in his hand eagerly]

Scott: ''Oh- I have some questions for them! What's their SnapChat?''

[Rex stares at his phone for a second before looking at Scott]

Rex: They blocked me.

[Jerry points at Scott]

Jerry: ''No! After a mental breakdown like that? You needa do something productive. Like join the army.''

Terry: Is that why you're in the hospital?

Scott: No, I stubbed my toe afterwards- plus I had a coupon that was expiring.

Jerry: ''He said some square existed. A blue square at that!''

[The other guys begin to laugh]

Target Employee: [laughing] ''A blue square?! Are you serious right now?''

[They all sigh]

Jeb: Blue square.

Scott: [frantic] ''Guys! I swear-! There's a big blue border around everything I see and do! And I think it gets bigger the more I give in to my primal urges!''

[Jerry holds up an NES cartridge]

Scott: Watch-

[He screams at the cartridge. The blue border briefly grows in size until Jerry pulls the cartridge away and he stops]

Scott: Ya see?!

Rex: Heh- man - You know, I've never met somebody who's f*cking stupid before.

Scott: Okay - can I please talk to each of you separately?

Jeb, Target Employee and Terry: [In unison] Yeah.

Rex: ...No.

[It cuts to Scott. The border slowly begins to get thicker over the next few minutes]

Scott: ''Terry! How's cheese pissin' ya off today?''

[Terry and Rex are shown to be the only other people still in the room]

Terry: ''Pretty good. I'm seething.''

Scott: ''Does it ever become too much? I mean - vegan all day?''

Terry: I always have my vegan-in-crime Jeb; he's my not-eggs to dear-God-anything-but-bacon.

Scott: ''But I mean, that's just another license to renew every month! Don't you ever just wanna mix things up and gut a f*cking duck?''

Terry: No, I'm pretty content being miserable.

Scott: Do you do anything other than be vegan?

Terry: Well I don't eat fruit for fun.

Scott: But you're vegan?

Terry: Yeah, my other passion is malnutrition.

Scott: ''Target Employee! How's it not working at big lots?''

[Target Employee is now shown standing next to Rex. He shrugs and points at the Target logo on his shirt]

Target Employee: Red.

Scott: Do you ever get tired o' workin' there and having a dead brother?

Target Employee: ''If it wasn't for my dead brother, I never would've replaced him in your group. Having a dead brother's great; you should try it sometime.''

Scott: ''Jeb. Vegan.''

[Jeb is now shown standing next to Rex]

Jeb: ''Ohh-! I don't know about that.''

[He looks around conspiringly]

Jeb: I want out.

Scott: ''What are you talking about- “you want out”? You're a vegan, not married!''

Jeb: ''I don't know- I tried a corndog and realized part of it wasn't vegan. ...The batter had milk.''

Scott: ''What're you gonna do without veganism? What about Terry? What's he gonna say?''

Jeb: ''..I don't know- I don't wanna hurt his feelings - he's top vegan in the county, y'know? He gave up drinking water 'cause cows drink it too. I-I- I can't do this - I have dreams, ya know?''

Scott: Well like what?

[Jeb glances around again]

Jeb: I like Gex..!

[Scott holds up a copy of Gex and points at it]

Scott: You mean like this?

Jeb: Nonono- the lizard!

Scott: ''Rex. Ya hate sex.''

[Everyone is back in the room]

Rex: More than most hate not sex.

Scott: ''Guys- don't you see?! You may not have a blue border around you but you have the equivalent in the form of crippling, restrictive tropes.''

Rex: I prefer the term “silly running gags”.

Terry: ''And why do you even care? The border's not harmin' anyone!''

Scott: ''It just matters to me..! It's been a part of my life this whole time an'- I just wanna feel normal!''

[He looks over at Jerry]

Scott: Is this still part of my therapy session?

Jerry: The meter's still runnin'!

Terry: ''You know what? I'm outta here. I got no milk to drink.''

[He leaves]

Jeb: Save some no milk for me!

[He follows Terry]

Target Employee: Yeah, Target does need an employee.

[He leaves]

Rex: ''And every chastity.. needs a moderator.''

[He also leaves. Scott stares for a moment. Suddenly, they all run back into the room, screaming]

Terry: Does anybody else see?!

Jerry: Squares can be blue?!

Jeb: ''Where are the sides?! Centimeters being obstructed!''

[He grabs Target Employee by the shoulders and shakes him]

Jeb: CENTIMETERS!

[Target Employee reads a small book labelled “Target Employee Handbook”]

Target Employee: I'm boned.

[The camera pans over to Rex. He holds up a book labelled “No Sex Handbook” and points at it]

Rex: I'm not.

[Scott rips out his nasal cannula and points dramatically at them]

Scott: We gotta alert the OFFICIALS!

[The border returns to its normal size as the scene cuts to Scott slapping a piece of paper that says “TEAM F*CKED” onto the blue wall behind the desk]

Scott: ''So. ...Welcome to being f*cked.''

[Rex, Jerry and Jeb are all shown standing in front of one of Scott's game shelves]

Rex: So THAT'S what it feels like.

Scott: I hope you guys accomplished your homework of dismantling your personalities.

[Target Employee and Terry are shown to be standing on Jeb's other side]

Terry: I've gone cold turkey no meat.

[He pulls up his sleeve]

Terry: Just need a few patches to get through the day.

[Jeb is shown holding a gun]

Jeb: ''Y-yeah! I bought a gun! For murder!''

Terry: Jeb- we keep this up, the blue border'll vanish,

[He holds up a piece of paper with a triangle on it. The inside of the triangle is just the word “No” and underneath the triangle is the label “VEGAN Food PYRAMID”]

Terry: We can go back to our specialized diet.

Jeb: ''..Terry? What do you think about lizards?''

Terry: Yeah, they're great for lookin'; not for eatin'.

Jeb: Nonono- like, as a hobby.

Terry: ''What do ya need hobbies for? You're a vegan- not a man.''

Target Employee: ''I'm on a job hunt! I heard Wendy's was lacking Target Employees workin' there.''

Jerry: I decided to stop being YOUR therapist and started being A therapist.

Rex: I eat zinc now.

Scott: Did you not before..?

Rex: ''Well, taking vitamin supplements seemed like a great way to get my mind off not having sex. And.. zinc just suits me.''

Terry: You know you can only take forty milligrams a day?

Rex: ..How much is that in pounds?

Scott: Okay, well I spent all last night with my games.

[It cuts to show Scott taking Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze for Wii U off his shelf]

Scott: F*ck you.

[He drops the game and takes DuckTales Remastered off the shelf]

Scott: F*ck you.

[He drops the game and takes Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two off the shelf]

Scott: F*ck you.

[He drops the game and takes 30 Great Games off the shelf]

Scott: F*ck you.

[He drops the game and takes Fast & Furious Showdown off the shelf]

Scott: F*ck you.

[He drops the game and takes FIFA Soccer 13 off the shelf]

Scott: F*ck you.

[He drops the game. It cuts back to the present day]

Scott: ''This personality change should be enough to mitigate the blue border for us.. for now.''

Terry: For now?!

Jerry: But I had something to DO down there and I can't see with the border in the way!

[He points at the floor]

Scott: Guys- this isn't just a problem that'll affect us-

[He holds up a small book titled “Squares A Cautionary Tale”]

Scott: -I read “Squares: A Cautionary Tale”..

Target Employee: [shocked] You read the whole thing..?

Scott: ''I'm up to “bread”- but- it says that blue borders ain't something that can just go away; it's like a black hole - the worse it gets for us, the more it'll start to affect others. I think we nailed its origin of appearing due to excessive rut-being-in-ing, but that's all we got. If we don't do something about this soon, it'll not only consume us, but EVERYBODY - humanity is hell-bent on repeating itself and if we don't warn people soon, things could get BAD.''

Jeb: I know the Amber Alert guy.

Jerry: I've been wanting a spotlight from him.

Scott: Rex- I got somethin' planned for you an' I.

Rex: ''Oh- I've heard o' somethin' like that. It's called.. an event, right?''

Scott: ''Everybody else- just spread the word as much as possible; the more people know, the quicker we can find a solution. Get on your feet and let's do this.''

Target Employee: I've seen Wendy's employees stand- this'll be great practice.

[The scene cuts to Jeb, Terry, Jerry and Target Employee outside. They are holding and handing out flyers that say “You're not crazy. You're just f*cked.”]

Jerry: ''Weee're not crazy- you're just f*cked. ...Weee're not crazy.. you're just f*cked. ...We're not crazy. You're just f*cked.''

[The scene cuts to Rex standing in front of a red curtain. Scott ducks in and turns to Rex]

Scott: Alright- here's the plan.

[Rex is shown to be holding a baseball bat]

Rex: Say no more.

Scott: I booked us an appointment with somebody that owns a curtain.

Rex: How do you find these people?!

Scott: I just thought people just took things with curtains more seriously- look at showers.

[Rex rolls his eyes dramatically]

Rex: ''Ugh- not this plan again. I'm NOT gonna f*ck a shower.''

Scott: ''No- turns out.. the curtain owner.. hosts a talk show!''

Rex: Those demographics overlap?

Scott: Barely- but if we go on this show, we'll reach all cable TV users.

Rex: ''So.. nobody.''

Scott: Hey, that's more nobody than yesterday.

Rex: What's this talk show about?

Scott: I was hoping blue borders but no- I had to lie to get us on.

[It cuts to a logo for “Throats for Thought”. An audience applauds and it fades out to show Hector Andfriends ]

Hector: ''Hi! I'm Hector Andfriends.''

[A name card that says “Hector Andfriends” slides on screen]

Hector: ''-That's not the name o' the show, that's just my name, damn it- and welcome back to Throats for Thought… Where we get to chat with throat users from all over the world and county. Our fifteenth guest today-''

[He looks at a piece of paper]

Hector: ''...Have throats. Let's get 'em out here!''

[Rex and Scott are shown looking through the curtain]

Rex: You don't know if you have a throat?

Scott: I forget- I never took anatomy.

[They both duck back behind the curtain]

Scott: Remember- if things aren't goin' our way and we need attention, when in doubt..

[Rex snaps his fingers]

Rex: Vomit.

Scott: No. Just lie and say it's your birthday - that'll get us the sympathy vote.

[Rex stares at Scott]

Rex: [depressed] It IS my birthday.

[The scene cuts back to the other group. Terry walks up to the other three]

Terry: Okay- I just got a cease and desist from the other nine groups handing out papers with this exact slogan.

Jeb: It is a popular time o' year to get f*cked.

Target Employee: ''Well maybe we can get our attention some other way. ..Like with sex appeal?''

Jerry: But we're already f*cked.

[It cuts back to Scott and Rex, who are now seated. A name card that says “Scott Wozniak”, “Throat” slides on screen]

Scott: ''Hey, Hector- it's great to be on this show with a throat. Ever since I've gotten one, this has been a short-term goal o' mine.''

Hector: Oh, who's this?

Scott: Oh- he's my aid.

[He begins to drink from a glass. Rex puts his hand on his shoulder]

Rex: Swallow.

[Scott chokes back the water and turns to Rex]

Scott: Thanks.

Hector: ''Well, when I heard your story, I knew ya had to be on the show. So.. you have a throat?''

Rex: Does he ever.

Scott: I won best throat at the state fair.

Rex: ''I.. won biggest.''

Scott: Ever since I was 18 I was told my throat was my best feature.

[Hector nods, impressed]

Hector: Okay, okay… Been notarized?

Scott: ...What?

Hector: I mean, any official throat user's been notarized.

[Scott begins to rapidly drink from his glass]

Rex: ''Hey, hey-! If anybody has a throat here, it's Scott; I can't tell you how many times I've been around this man and had to be- DAMN, man- stop usin' your throat!''

Scott: ''Listen, Hector- Hec.. may I call you Hell?''

Rex: May I call you F*ck?

[A name card slides on screen. It says “Scott Wozniak”, “Son of a Bitch”]

Scott: ''I may not have my throat documents on-hand.. would you settle for dental?''

[Hector stares at them in horror. Rex claps his hands together before addressing the camera]

Rex: There's a big blue border that's gonna eat you.

Hector: Get off my show.

Scott: ''No! We have to stop the blue border-! It actively annoys everyone it affects-!''

[He turns to the camera]

Scott: It has to END!

[Hector is shown listening to his phone]

Hector: Oh my God.

[He moves his phone away from his ear]

Hector: ...My aunt just died.

Rex: [offended] ON MYYY BIRTHDAY?!

[The scene cuts back to New Location McGee. Both groups have returned]

Scott: ''...Well. ..Any publicity's good publicity.''

[Jerry is shown to have his hands covered in blood]

Jerry: ''Heh-! You got that right.''

[It cuts to show a TV on the computer desk. It turns to static before showing “BREAKING NEWS: THE NEWS” on “9 NEWS” with the headline “End of the World Conspiracy Theorists: Let's Laugh]

News Anchor: This just in:

[The group handing out flyers is shown]

Anchor: A fight amongst ten groups of end of the world conspiracy theorists broke out today because apparently we can't all settle on a definitive end of the world.

[Jeb is shown being interviewed]

Jeb: ''Shapes? I don't trust 'em.''

[The camera moves back. Jeb looks at the others standing next to him holding the flyers. He backs away from them]

Jeb: Get the f*ck away from me!

[The headline changes to “Throats for Thought Finally Becomes a Joke” as Rex and Scott on Throats for Thought is shown]

Anchor: In other news, on a special edition of Throats for Thought, a throatless conman and his aid took over the show to inform everybody that a blue border will be overtaking the world.

Police later confirmed that blue borders don't exist.

Scott: Alright, step one went better than I expected - it's getting us closer to step two: ...Give up.

Terry: At least we DID spread the word on multiple issues - now people know about the blue border, AND think we're f*cks.

Jeb: I mean, we only started to see the border after you brought it up to us.

[They all pause for a moment]

EVERYONE: [In unison] Huh.

[It cuts back to show the TV turning to static again. This Just In begins to play as a map of the USA showing the states is shown with the headline “Ohio Exists?”]

Anchor: This just JUST in:

[The map zooms in to Ohio]

Anchor: ''Reports of the state of Ohio experiencing a blue border obstructing their vision are increasing rapidly. Let's go to our reporter on the field.''

[A man with a microphone in front of a wall is shown]

Reporter: I'm in a field.

Target Employee: See- that's why I don't trust the news anymore; that's a yard!

Reporter: ''I'm standing here because as a news reporter, you trust what I have to say outside more than inside. Various eye-havers are reporting a phenomena where a blue border is obstructing their view. Nobody knows why, but it seems that the entire state of Ohio is affected.''

[Various clips are shown of people being shaken and thrown around by tremors are shown as the border shakes and grows. The border appears on all the videos. It cuts to a view of the Earth from space. A blue outline appears around Ohio]

Reporter: Other states would contact Ohio to help, but it seems that they would have to be convinced that Ohio is real first.

Scott: Oh my God - you know what this means?!

Rex: NOT MICHIGAN!

Terry: ''This thing is spreading! Like some kind of disease!''

Jerry: I'd argue the best diseases are contagious.

Jeb: How're we gonna take on something that's not even tangible the size of Ohio?

Rex: ''Maine- maybe. Ohio- I've tried; it's not possible.''

Scott: ''Guys - we can't give up! This is important to me; people are starting to finally see what it's been like to be in my shoes this entire time!''

Jerry: They're bitching about Wario?

Rex: ''Wh-wh-where even is this blue border?! I feel like it's everywhere and nowhere at the same time! I-I just can't escape it! ...Like the moon!''

[Scott looks at the ground in thought before turning to look out of the window, where the moon is visible]

Scott: ''...I think I know where to look. Guys - we're goin' to space!''

Jerry: ''Oh.. I left my passport at home.''

Terry: ''How? We need two- maybe three- cars to hold us all!''

Target Employee: I get space sick.

Jeb: I just don't wanna f*ckin' do it.

Scott: ''Guys, come on! D-does anybody know how to build a rocket?''

Rex: I know OF rockets.

[Scott points dramatically]

Scott: ''We'll wing it. …The question is.. what materials do I have enough of to make a rocket..?''

[He looks down at the ground as Might As Well begins to play. He is shown to be standing in a large pile of Wii games]

Scott: ''Come on, we gotta try..! Target Employee-! if the blue border takes over, there won't be a Wendy's to get fired from if there's no world left!''

Target Employee: There will always be a Denny's, though.

Scott: ''Terry- there won't be no cheese to eat if this continues, Jerry- there won't be me wasting money on your services, Rex- there won't be no sex to be had.. Jeb - no everything except for Gex because anything but Gex is Gex!''

[Terry looks at Jeb]

Jeb: Uh- That includes shallots.

Terry: Eh…

Scott: If we're the only ones who can do this, we have to take this blue border out ourselves - we're the only one who can do this, everybody else is busy- we've got NOTHING ELSE TO DO TODAY!

[The music swells. Throughout the song, progress on the construction of the rocket is shown]

Scott: ♫It's our time, To prove our worth, By saving the world, Save this frame..less Earth,

And when we do we'll rub it, In the faces of our government, How could you tax, A hero's quest? Just take that IRS...!♫

[He unrolls a blueprint]

Scott: ♫We gotta save the world, We gotta save the day,

I know you all don't have some plans, So hear me out as I sway-

You don't want blue cataracts, Wouldn't that be anti-swell?♫

[He takes his bottle of Pepto-Bismol from his desk and places it in a bandolier]

Scott: ♫You've got nothing else going on, So you all might as well.

We can't give up, At least not yet.

We gotta try, I can't lose this bet.♫

[He flicks through a notepad filled with complex calculations and diagrams]

Scott: ♫We're the only ones capable, Of ending this blue fable, So we mustn't stall, Our big night, This so counts as a fight…!

Take your nearest hand, Pop it on your closest head,

Loyalty or no dignity, Not both or you'll be dead.

It's our duty to fight back, After borders came to dwell,

When else does this ever happen? So we all might as well.

Might as well...

Stand up and unite, Our strength combined can take the fight, Because it's up to us, And with some luck, We'll watch the border's demise.♫

[He scrunches up a piece of paper with a blue border on it and throws it into the toilet with Chibi-Robo Zip Lash]

Scott: ♫And if unaware before, Prepare yourself 'cause this is war.

There's not much time, Before we incline-♫

[A whiteboard with the text “Wii Game Ship”, “”The Hour of Variety”” alongside a diagram of the walls being made from wii games is shown]

Scott: ♫Forever borderline...♫

[The completed Wii Game Ship is shown standing outside]

Terry: Sure.

[Blast Off plays. The scene changes to show the interior of the Wii Game Ship. All of the walls are Wii Games. There is a central chair, also made from Wii games, in the center of the room. Target Employee, Rex, Jeb, Jerry and Terry stand at the back of the room. Terry is standing at a keyboard in the corner. Scott enters and sits down in the chair]

Scott: ''Alright guys, we're going to space. Remember your coats.''

Jerry: I'll just pick one up on the way there.

Scott: ''Terry Lesler, you'll be our treasurer. Jerry Attricks- HR, Jeb Jab- customer support representative, Rex Mohs- moral support representative, Target Employee- catering.''

[Target Employee holds up a backpack that is filled with meat]

Target Employee: Good thing I didn't pack clothes.

[Terry turns to speak to Jerry]

Terry: Yeah, I'd like to file a complaint.

Scott: Ready for liftoff..

[In the back, Terry begins typing on his keyboard, Jeb inspects the walls, Target Employee inspects the contents of his bag and Rex does sit-ups]

Scott: Cramming good luck charm down pants..

[He shoves a copy of Madden 08 on Wii down the front of his jeans]

Scott: Setting Tinder radius for 50 miles and beyond..

[The rocket is shown beginning to launch. The room starts shaking and everyone fights for balance. The rocket takes off and Scott screams loudly. He opens the lid of his Pepto-Bismol and the liquid inside shoots out and freezes]

Scott: Oh- f*ck this atmosphere!

[Jeb speaks into his phone]

Jeb: ''Hello, police? Yeah. ..Yeah, I'm in space.''

[The Wii Game Ship is shown soaring away from the Earth. Everyone regains their balance as it stops shaking. Rex walks up to a window]

Rex: God, that's a lot o' f*ckin' space.

Terry: Yeah, space is a lot bigger up close.

[Scott unfolds a map of the USA]

Scott: ''Alright, looks like we have to take a left in about half a mile.. oh- forgot to carry the 3…''

Jerry: ''Don't worry, I recognize this area. Just keep going straight.''

Target Employee: Hey guys, so as the caterer here, I'm trying to figure out what to do; what would a Wendy's employee make?

Rex: Food.

Target Employee: ''Alright. Back to the drawing board.''

[The rocket is shown suddenly getting hit by a laser. A hole is created in one of the walls]

Jeb: Whoa- what was that?!

Scott: SOMETHING!

Terry: Oh- we got a leak here!

Jerry: I F*CKING HATE CIRCLES!

[Rex kneels beside Scott's chair]

Rex: ''Alright, listen - I'm your moral support rep, so this means a lot coming from me.. we're f*cked.''

Terry: Listen, if we die, please tell me - was it “hey y'all” or “hey all”?

[Target Employee turns around to show a burger he is holding]

Target Employee: ''Hey, guys! I made us baconators!''

Scott: THAT'S A F*CKING WHOPPER!

Target Employee: URGH!

[He throws the Whopper, which gets stuck in the whole and seals it]

Rex: ...Please f*ck up more.

Jeb: Oh, who shot us?

[Jerry holds the “How To Talk About Video Games” tape]

Jerry: My money's on the working class.

[Evil laughter is heard. Everybody looks around]

Scott: ''No... it can't be…! My mortal enemy..! Cover athlete of Madden '09..! BRETT FAVRE! ''

[Another ship is shown approaching them through the main window]

Brett Favre: Oh, Scott…

[Brett Favre appears on the viewport]

Favre: You'll pay for this.

Scott: ''Favre! Why are you doing this?!''

Favre: ''That's- First of all, that's none o' your business. For whatever reason, you despised Madden '09- so looks like I'll have to deal with you myself.''

Scott: You can't kill us- it's illegal!

Terry: Hey- anything's fair game in space; this is where I was planning to jaywalk.

Scott: ..Let's get the hell outta here!

[The Wii Game Ship is shown rapidly flying away. Brett Favre's ship continues to follow and shoots lasers at their ship, which they evade. Punks From Green Bay plays]

Target Employee: We can't escape him!

[Jeb points at his phone, which he has to his ear]

Jeb: He just called customer support - he's pissed.

[Brett Favre's ship is shown slamming into the back of the Wii Game Ship]

Jerry: ''Oh, God..! He's docking..!''

[The door unlocks and slides open]

Terry: His troops are boarding the ship!

[Four blank-faced troops wearing Green Bay Packers uniforms enter the door]

Rex: Holy sh*t it's the Green Bay Packers.

Scott: Alright, Favre - we're ending this.

[He picks up the frozen bottle of Pepto-Bismol and wields it like a sword]

Scott: Guys, I know we're trying to mitigate our tropes here, but we can't let it affect who we are- the only way we're gonna win here, is by being the best us we can be.

Rex: If there's one thing I hate more than the Green Bay Packers..

[He tears off his jeans, revealing that he is wearing three belts- one of them labelled with a piece of paper that says “Chastity”]

Rex: -It's sex.

Target Employee: Honestly-?

[He throws off his Target employee cap]

Target Employee: Deep down..

[He puts on a Wendy's cap]

Target Employee: I've always felt like I've been a Wendy's employee.

[He takes out his spatula and takes a defensive stance]

Terry: Well I've always been a vegan.

[He takes one carrot from a bag of carrots and flips it around to hold it like a knife. Jeb holds up his gun]

Jeb: ...I haven't.

Target Employee: Is that a gun?

Jeb: No. ..It's Gex.

[The group all stand, battle ready. Rex has his hands on his hips, Jerry holds his clipboard over his head, Target Employee holds his spatula, Jeb points his gun, Jerry flips his carrot and Scott holds up the Pepto-Bismol sword. It fades into a shot of The Green Bay Packers, lined up and bouncing on their heels]

[The group charges forwards, yelling. Scott is shown swinging at one of them. Jeb is then shown shooting two of the troops. Rex is shown jumping at one of the Packers, one of his belts glowing. Two of the Packers jump on Jerry, dragging him to the ground. Target Employee holds one of the troops over his knee, hitting them in the ass and the head with his spatula. Jerry is shown jumping up, knocking the two Packers off him]

[Rex is then shown fistfighting with one of the Packers as Scott swings at another repeatedly in the background. Jerry is shown holding one of the troops over his shoulder, smacking their head into his clipboard. Rex is then shown holding on to one of the Packers and swinging them down into the ground]

[It then shows Scott swinging at offscreen, Terry stabbing one of the troops repeatedly with a carrot, Jeb firing his gun with his phone to his ear and Jerry hitting offscreen with his clipboard. Scott is then shown to be repeatedly swinging at one of the Packers, which Rex is holding up by the armpits and also kneeing in the back]

[One of the Packers throws themself at Target Employee, who hit them out of the air with his spatula. Rex is shown slamming another one of the troops into the ground. Jerry is shown hitting two of the troops with his clipboard, knocking them down. Jeb is shown shooting his pistol again]

[Scott swings his sword in the background as Rex kneels on one of the downed troops and punches them repeatedly in the head. Target Employee is shown holding one of the Packers by the neck and shoves one of the bags of meat in their face]

[One of the Packers is shown leaning on the chair. Terry hits them across the face with a carrot as Jerry stamps at the ground in the background. Rex is then shown throwing one of the troops over his head into the wall behind him]

[Jerry is shown stabbing one of the Packers in the neck repeatedly with his pen as Jeb stands beside him and shoots. Rex is shown whipping one of the Packers with a belt. Scott is shown slicing down one of the troops. Rex holds up one of the Packers and slaps them across the face. Scott repeatedly swings down his blade onto one of the troops that is leaning over the chair]

[Terry is shown throwing one of the troops he has stabbed with a carrot to the ground. Rex throws another one of the Packers to the ground]

[Scott grunts as the whole group is shown standing up straight with the Green Bay Packers lying on the ground. Rex throws one of their helmets at the floor. Scott looks at the viewport. Brett Favre's ship is shown to be approaching. Scott points.

Scott: He flew in front of us when we weren't lookin'!

[Favre's ship begins to whirr and a red orb of light appears on it]

Scott: Oh God- he's chargin' up!

[Terry is typing on the keyboard in the corner]

Terry: ''We don't have enough resources to fire back! We have everything we need except for... zinc!''

[Everyone looks at Rex expectantly]

Rex: ''I already ate zinc. I'm onto thallium now.''

Scott: ''We need attention. Things aren't goin' our way.''

[Rex snaps his fingers]

Rex: Vomit.

[He coughs into his hand]

Rex: Hey, here's a nail.

[He hands it over to Terry]

Terry: That'll work.

[He places the nail next to the keyboard on the console and types rapidly]

Terry: Guys - we have enough!

Scott: F*ck it!

[He slaps a button labelled “DISAPPOINT FANS BUTTON”. The Wii Game Ship is shown charging up a blue-colored laser. It fires just before Favre's laser does. The two lasers meet in the middle but Favre's laser begins to overpower the Wii Game Ship's. The room begins shaking as everyone watches nervously]

[Both lasers become brighter until they explode in a burst of white light. Both ships are sent flying backwards. The screen in the Wii Game Ship flickers and shows Brett Favre again]

Favre: ''That's it. I'm tired of you Madden '08 fans.''

Jeb: I'm more of a Madden '09 guy, I swear!

Scott: ''Favre! All we're doing is looking for the Blue Border! Just let us go and everybody will be fine!''

Favre: ''And you think I have nothin' to do with that? ..But you know what? I'm coming over.. to deal with you myself.''

[Everyone looks in fear. Favre's ship is shown being suddenly shot by a laser]

Favre: What was that?

[The ship is shot again and explodes away into space with a Willhelm scream]

Jeb: Who saved us?!

[They all rush to the window. A Madden 08 spaceship is shown flying alongside them]

EVERYONE: [In unison] VINCE YOUNG!

Scott: ''Vince! Thank you!''

[He appears on the screen]

Vince Young: ''Yes. Hey Scott, no problem, good luck out there, thanks.''

[Rex turns to talk to Jerry]

Rex: I'd like to not file a complaint.

Terry: ''Guys, I don't think we're gonna make it. We're almost outta gas.''

Target Employee: ''What are we gonna do?! Where are we gonna go?!''

Jerry: Senoko.

Jeb: Guys, I don't think we have to go that far.

[He points. Outside, the Blue Border is seen floating in space]

Scott: So that's what blue is.

Terry: A color.

[The Wii Game Ship is shown approaching the Border. A side panel slides open, allowing them to dock. The screen cuts to black. The group are shown walking through a blue hall, looking around]

Target Employee: I'm so happy we're all hanging out more.

Jerry: I'm just happy home invasion's in now.

Terry: What are we looking for exactly?

Jeb: Probably a square.

Scott: Well, if any place is gonna give us answers, it's here.

Rex: ''Aw, sweet! Printer ink!''

[He points at the floor, where a lone package of printer ink is laying. Everyone except for Scott cheers and whoop as they approach the ink. Jerry picks up the ink]

Jerry: Oh, wow.

Jeb: Look at this one, ey?

[Scott watches in concern]

Scott: ''W-wait, guys... nobody would leave their printer ink out there just like that..! IT'S A TRAP!''

[He reaches out for them. The blue border on the video comes off the screen to wrap around the guys]

Scott: NO-!

[Scott jumps forward to help them but the blue endscreen falls from above and pins him to the ground. He looks up. A new, thicker border fades in around the edges of the video as a blue border appears before Scott]

Border: ''You dare acknowledge my existence?! Threaten to remove me from your life?!''

Scott: It kept me busy.

Border: I'm done only affecting you and your precious state- I'm ready to irritate the entire world.

[It cuts to space, where the blue border shoots a laser beam. The beam is shown hitting the Earth. A blue border appears around the planet and fades in around the edge of the video again]

Scott: Oh, God- no!

Border: ''There's nothing you can do now! I am now in everybody's life, not just yours!''

Scott: Why did you only affect me to begin with?

Border: ''You were weak! You wasted all your time talking about stupid Nintendo games!''

Scott: I risked a lot doin' that - ever heard of spontaneous combustion?

Border: ''You were a waste. I contacted Favre to take you out, but apparently I underestimated you.''

Scott: But you took advantage of my group's love for PRINTER INK!

Border: ''Just because my first plan to eliminate you fell through, doesn't mean I'm opposed to ruining your life even moreso now.. you were the perfect catalyst for my plan; to be a part of everybody's life; burn the screen in everybody's eyes..! There's no turning back now, I am all powerful! I am eternal LIFE!''

[The Border cackles evilly. Scott looks away thoughtfully]

Scott: ''Wait... the opposite of eternal life…''

[He looks at the copy of Madden 08 that is still crammed down his pants]

Scott: ..Is VIRGINITY!

[He throws the game at the Blue Border, piercing it]

Terry: It's weakening it!

[Scott stands up]

Scott: I've been holding this one in for years...

[He screams and throws his arms out in front of him. Wii games fly from behind him at the Border. The games are shown flying from the walls of the Wii Game Ship]

Jeb: It looks like it needs one more dose..!

Scott: I've been saving this one…

[He pulls out two more games from his coat]

Scott: ..Madden 08 in Español for Playstation 2 and XBOX 360...!

[He throws the games, which dramatically twirl in the air towards the Border. They hit and cause an explosion. The Border, now much smaller, lands at their feet. The border on the video vanishes. They all look down at it]

Target Employee: I hate when this happens.

Jerry: Can we eradicate it?

[Scott half-heartedly throws another game at it]

Scott: ..No.

Rex: ''I.. got Raid.''

[He pulls out a can of Raid]

Jeb: If it just stays here, it might get bigger if we don't do somethin' about it.

Scott: Maybe it needs a host..?

Terry: What are you sayin' here?

Rex: I-I think it needs to live with somebody or else it's just gonna keep getting bigger and bigger again.

[Scott stays quiet for a moment]

Scott: ...I'll do it.

Jerry: THAT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING WE'VE JUST DONE!

Scott: ''Guys, I've had to deal with this thing longer than anybody else - I know how to handle it at this point. ..It's never gonna leave but.. I know how it works; I know how to just talk about stupid Nintendo games an'.. not let it bother me.''

[He picks up the Border. It gets absorbed into his chest and the border at the edges of the video reappear]

Scott: ''I would not wish this upon anybody else, I just.. hope people understand what I see all the time.''

Rex: Deal.

[Stupid Nintendo Games (Reprise) begins to play as it cuts to the border floating in space. The camera pans down back to Earth in a field. Rocco Botte, Kevin Kenson and Justin Silverman all stand up and look around. Next, RTGame, Lady Pelvic, and Beta64 stand and look around them]

[CUT SCENE: It then cuts to the Supreme Leader standing. He removes his mask and looks at the camera before looking around]

[Suddenly, Scott falls from the sky with a thump. As he hits the ground, the blue border on the video reappears once more. He sits up, holding his head, and spits out blood. He stands up properly as Terry comes over to him]

Terry: Look, we did it, everything's back to normal!

Scott: ''Yeah, this blue border's not gonna leave anytime soon for me, but as long as I know how to handle it and not let it affect what I love... that's okay- Plus, who knows? It might shrink over time! I think it even did that a while back.''

Jerry: I think that deserves a letter o' recommendation.

[He hands Scott a piece of paper]

Jerry: ''Pop that on your resumé! You're the only patient o' mine that has saved the world from shapes.''

Target Employee: If it wasn't for this whole thing, I would've never considered myself to be a fast food employee.

Scott: None of us did.

Rex: At least I can go back to having no means of crotch access.

Scott: That's good, I heard Jesus HATES handjobs.

Jeb: ''Terry- I'm- I'm sorry, I just.. I don't think I could be a vegan anymore. I like Gex!''

Terry: Well, you can't change who y'are, but we could always use a volunteer vegan on the weekends..?

[He holds out a “Volunteer VEGAN” hat and places it on Jeb's head]

Jeb: Oh, boy- now people know what I'm not!

Scott: ''Guys... th-thanks for helping me out... it means a lot.''

Terry: I think everyone'll understand this whole blue border thing you're dealing with.

Scott: ''Well, even if they don't, as long as I have what I truly care about.. I don't give a piss!''

[The music swells as the scene changes to Scott places two more Madden 08 games in his collection. Now sitting in his chair, he spins around to address the camera]

Scott: ♫We saved the world, From a blue border quirl!

I just have to live with it for the whole rest of my days.

It's a lot but you've been taught- This thing is worse than you thought!

But there's one small thing that makes it all okay!

''Stupid... Nin...ten...do... Games…!♫''

Scott: ♫(That blue border won't stand in my way!)♫

Scott: ♫These stupid Nintendo games...!♫

[The camera pans out from the Earth to show the Blue Border floating in space. The music ends as it wipes to blue]

[The Scott The Woz 200 Logo appears as the credits music begins to play. It fades out. The shape of the Borderline Forever logo is filled in with scribbles before becoming the actual logo]

[An animated scene of Scott drop kicking a Wii U box out of a window is shown with the text “DIRECTED BY SCOTT WOZNIAK”]

[It then cuts to an animated Scott drinking Pepto-Bismol alongside the text “WRITTEN BY SCOTT WOZNIAK”]

[Two animated Scotts are shown with the text “EDITED BY SCOTT WOZNIAK”. One of them looks at a piece of paper before turning it around to show that it says “DICK VITALE” with arrows pointing to Dick Vitale. The other Scott rummages in a backpack before taking something out and holding it up]

[A toilet is shown with the text “SCOTT THE WOZ”, “EPISODE 200”, “BORDERLINE FOREVER”. A flash of light appears in the distance before and animated Scott sprints to the toilet and dunk-throws a game into it]

[An animated phone is shown, flicking through images of “Scott, 19”'s Tinder profile, with the text “STARRING SCOTT WOZNIAK”. An animated Terry is then shown cutting a pumpkin from a tree as Scott watches with the text “JOE ROBERTSON”. The pumpkin falls to the ground and breaks]

[An animated Rex and Jeb are shown sitting at a table with the text “SAM ESSIG”. An animated Scott runs in and throws a rotisserie chicken at the wall, which lands on the table. Rex and Jeb both stare at him]

[An animated Jeb, Wendy's Employee and Terry are then shown getting excited over a cartridge of Dick Vitale's "Awesome Baby" College Hoops with the text “DOMINIC MATTERO”]

[An animated DJ Abstinence holding a laptop and Rex are shown with the text “ERIC TURNEY”. Rex snatches the laptop from his hands and breaks it over his knee]

[An animated Jerry Attricks is shown yelling at a mirror with the text “JUSTIN WOMBLE”]

[An animated interviewee is asked a question by an animated Scott alongside the text “JEFFREY POHLMAN-BESHUK”]

[An animated Wendy's Employee, Rex, Jeb, Terry and Scott are shown in a courtroom with the text “JACK DOUGLASS”. Scott stands and points dramatically off screen]

[An animated Scott is then shown running through a flaming forest with a Wii under his arm with the text “CONNOREATSPANTS”]

[An animated Scott and Chet Shaft are shown standing behind a Games on a Shelf counter with the text “GUS JOHNSON”. Chet angrily gestures at Scott, who moves away in fear]

[An animated Terry, Scott and Jeb are shown with the text “BRETT FAVRE AND VINCE YOUNG”. Scott mashes the buttons on a controller]

[An animated Scott is shown talking to the camera with the text “WITH”, “INDIEJACOB”, “ANTDUDE”, “CADDICARUS”, “NITRORAD”. The text then changes to “WITH”, “SOMECALLMEJOHNNY”, “PEANUTBUTTERGAMER”, “METALJESUSROCKS”, “GILLYTHEKID”. Someone runs into the background and fails to land a frontflip. The text changes to “WITH”, “NINTENDREW”, “ARLO”, “JSCHLATT”, “STUTTERING CRAIG”]

[An animated Scott is shown rotating his TV to portrait with the text “WITH”, “SHANE GILL”, “JAMES ROLFE”, “GIRLFRIEND REVIEWS”, “STOP SKELETONS”. The text changes to “WITH”, “ARIN HANSON”, “CONNERTHEWAFFLE”, “BILLIAM”, “ROSS O-DONOVAN”. Scott does a thumbs up]

[An animated car is shown in the distance with the text “WITH”, “SPACEHAMSTER”, “BETA64”, “SHESEZ”, “A+START”. The car drives off screen before reappearing. An animated Scott throws a Wii U out of the window of the car. The text changes to “WITH”, “BALROG”, “REREZ”, “NEARCHRIS”, “RADICALSODA”]

[An animated Scott hits a PS2 repeatedly with a hammer with the text “WITH”, “ADAM KORALIK”, “MATT MCMUSCLES”, “NATHANIAL BANDY”, “SPAWN WAVE”. The text then changes to “WITH”, “KIMEREXPROJEKT”, “JORDAN FRINGE”, “RGT 85”, “PLAYERESSENCE”]

[An animated Jeb, Jerry and Scott are shown watching an animated Anti-Gex rising from the water with the text “WITH”, “MODERNVINTAGEGAMER”, “MISSCLICK GAMING”, “DREAMCASTGUY”, “AUSTINJOHNPLAYS”. The Anti-Gex grabs Jeb and Jerry. The text changes to “WITH”, “ASH PAULSEN”, “DERRICK BITNER”, “STEVE BOWLING”, “JON CARTWRIGHT”. The Anti-Gex consumes Jerry and Jeb and Scott watches in shock. The text changes to “WITH”, “ZION GRASSL”, “ALEX OLNEY”, “DASHIEXP”, “ROGERBASE”. An animated Rex runs on screen. The text changes to “WITH”, “LADY PELVIC”, “QUINTON REVIEWS”, “DREW GOODEN”, “STORM DAIN”. Rex throws a corndog at the monster. The text changes to “WITH”, “TETRABITGAMING”, “SAM'S PROCRASTINATION STATION”, “RETRO ALI”, “TAMA HERO”. The Anti-Gex reaches out and grabs Rex. The text changes to “WITH”, “JUSTIN SILVERMAN”, “ROCCO BOTTE”, “KEVIN KENSON”, “RTGAME”, “RELAXALAX”]

[An animated Scott is shown sitting and watching a laptop with the text “BRANDING/LOGO”, “NICO VLIEK”. Scott squeezes the pot in his hand and it bursts]

[An animated Jeb, Scott and Rex are now shown sitting on a couch with the text “ANIMATION”, “CGI (OPENING CREDITS)”, “MEGAN KAYLA SMITH”. Rex gestures angrily before standing up and throwing a Wii remote at the ground]

[An animated Rex, Jeb, Terry and Wendy's Employee are shown playing with Wii game boxes with the text “ANIMATION”, “STOP MOTION (OPENING CREDITS, MINIATURE SETS, EXTERIOR SPACESHIP SHOTS)”, “EMILY WOLVER”]

[An animated Scott holds a box of Hamburger Helper Beef Pasta in one hand and Resident Evil 4 in the other with the text “ANIMATION”, “STOP MOTION (OPENING CREDITS, INTERIOR SPACESHIP SHOTS)”, “ADIE VALAVANIS”. Scott looks between the two choices]

[An animated Scott is shown pouring milk into a cup with the text “ANIMATION”, “STOP MOTION (DREAM SEQUENCE)”, “FAITH BRUNAIS”. Scott yells as he continues pouring the milk]

[An animated Scott is shown dramatically piloting a spaceship with the text “ANIMATION”, “2D (CREDITS)”, “SMASHTOONS”]

[An animated Scott is sitting on a chair and reading a map with the text “ANIMATION”, “2D (CREDITS)”, “PEDRO SCHMIDT”. Scott looks at the camera in dismay]

[An animated Scott is shown sitting on the floor with his TV with the text “ANIMATION”, “2D (CREDITS)”, “MARIE LUM”. He looks into the camera and blinks]

[An animated Jerry, Target Employee, Terry, Rex and Scott are sitting at a table with the text “ANIMATION”, “2D (CREDITS)”, “FABIAN'S HIDEOUT”. They all turn and yell off screen]

[An animated Scott has his back to the camera next to the text “ANIMATION”, “2D (CREDITS)”, “ADDISON FUJIMOTO”. Scott turns around and holds out his hand, summoning a copy of Mighty No. 9]

[An animated Scott is shown watching a wildly jumping fan with the text “ANIMATION”, “2D (CREDITS)”, “AMIE SANCHEZ”. Scott grabs the fan to hold it still and grins at the camera]

[An animated Scott is shown sneaking around in front of a TV with an EyeToy on it alongside the text “MUSIC”, “GENERAL SCORE”, “NICHOLAS KARR”. Scott sees the EyeToy and jumps away from it fearfully]

[An animated Scott is shown wheeling a shopping cart filled with cookies while smiling at the camera alongside the text “MUSIC”, “OPENING CREDITS”, “GARRETT WILLIAMSON”, “NICHOLAS KARR”]

[Two animated Scotts are shown alongside the text “MUSIC”, “END CREDITS”, “HYPER POTIONS”. One of them halfheartedly shakes a tambourine before leaning over and vomiting. The other stands on a Wii Balance Board with a watermelon before throwing the watermelon aside and breaking it]

[An animated Scott holds up a Wii U game box that says “YUP, IT'S A GOOD GAME” alongside the text “MUSIC”, “”STUPID NINTENDO GAMES”, “MIGHT AS WELL” AND “STUPID NINTENDO GAMES (REPRISE)””, “BY”, “NICHOLAS KARR”, “LYRICS BY”, “SCOTT WOZNIAK”, “NICHOLAS KARR”. The cover of the game falls off to reveal that it is Devil's Third. Scott turns the game around and sees that it is Devil's Third, before dropping it and flailing his arms around]

[An animated Jeb, Scott and Rex are shown alongside the text “MUSIC”, “”STUPID NINTENDO GAMES”, “MIGHT AS WELL” AND “STUPID NINTENDO GAMES (REPRISE)””, “VOCALS BY”, “SCOTT WOZNIAK”. Scott is trying to use a lighter and Rex is smoking numerous cigarettes all at once]

[Two animated Scotts are shown next to the text “MUSIC”, “”STUPID NINTENDO GAMES”, “MIGHT AS WELL” AND”, ““STUPID NINTENDO GAMES (REPRISE)””, “MIXING ENGINEER”, “PRESTON PARKER” and “TUBA”, “ALEX HILL”, “SAXPHONES”, “CARLOS EIENE”, “TROMBONES”, “DANIEL ROMBERGER”, “HORN IN F”, “DANNY FLAM”. One of them, wearing an apron and chef's hat, throws eggs into a bowl before frowning and pouring the bowl into an egg box. The other Scott tentatively places a game against a pole before running away]

[Two animated Scotts are shown with the text “MUSIC”, “”STUPID NINTENDO GAMES”, “MIGHT AS WELL” AND”, ““STUPID NINTENDO GAMES (REPRISE)””, “VIOLIN, VIOLA, CELLO, BASS”, “GABE VALLE” and “VIOLIN”, “HANA TAN”, “TRUMPET”, “JOHN ROBERT MATZ”, “OBOE”, “KRISTIN NAIGUS”, “FLUTE”, “LAURA INTRAVIA”. One of the Scotts holds a sign that says “I OWN GRAVITY RUSH REMASTERED HONK IF YOU AGREE” and twirls it before doing the 'O' face at the camera. The other Scott trips and accidentally drops a box into a trash can before walking away]

[An animated Scott is shown holding a cartridge of Sonic 2 with a line on it in front of a board that says “RAREST GAMES OF ALL TIME CANDIDATES” with the text “MUSIC”, “”STUPID NINTENDO GAMES”, “MIGHT AS WELL” AND”, “”STUPID NINTENDO GAMES (REPRISE)”, “BASS CLARINET”, “LORI SYNGAJEWSKI”, “PICCOLO”, “MADELEINE STEWART”, “TRUMPET”, “MAX BOIKO”, “PIANO”, “OLIVER GLYNN”, “TRUMPET”, “ROBBY DUGUAY”, “BASSOON”, “RYAN ROIKOLA”, “CLARINET”, “STEVEN HIGBEE”. Scott points enthusiastically as he talks to the camera]

[An animated Scott holding a bunch of controllers in his arms is shown leaving a door with the sign “CONTROL ISSUES” on it next to the text “MUSIC”, “”CLOSING IN” BY GARRETT WILLIAMSON”, “LYRICS BY”, “SCOTT WOZNIAK”, “GARRETT WILLIAMSON”, “PRODUCED, MIXED AND MASTERED BY”, “GARRETT WILLIAMSON”. Scott freezes and glances between the door and the camera]

[Two animated Scotts are shown with the text “MUSIC”, “”CLOSING IN””, “LEAD VOCALS BY”, “SCOTT WOZNIAK” and “BACKING VOCALS BY”, “GARRETT WILLIAMSON”, “RHYTHM GUITARS BY”, “CHASE AKERS”, “BENNETT ROACH”, “JOSHUA TAIPALE”. One of the Scotts, wearing a shirt that says “# OF TRAIN CRASHES TODAY”, “0”, rummages in a backpack and pulls out an Xbox 360 copy of Brink. The other Scott fights against a Polybius arcade cabinet that is leaning over him before he grabs a baseball bat and repeatedly hits the cabinet with it to knock it over]

[An animated Scott is shown watching a box that has a heart rate monitor on it with the text “MUSIC”, “”CLOSING IN””, “LEAD GUITAR BY”, “BENNETT ROACH”, “BASS BY”, “CHASE WEIMER”, “DRUMS BY”, “SCOTT WILLIAMSON”, “EXTRA PROGRAMMING BY”, “GARRETT WILLIAMSON”. The heart rate monitor on the box peels off to show a label that says “Bread Box”. Scott points at it]

[An animated Scott stands in front of a Burger King sign and gestures at it with the text “SPECIAL THANKS AND HELP BY”, “SAM ESSIG”, “ERIC TURNEY”, “JEFFREY POHLMAN-BESHUK”, “JUSTIN WOMBLE”, “JOE ROBERTSON”, “DOMINIC MATTERO”, “KATE SANTUS”, “EVERYBODY WHO SUBMITTED AN “EARTHQUAKE” VIDEO”, “THE COMPLETIONIST”, “SHANE GILL”]

[An animated Scott, sitting at the desk, waves at the camera before drinking from a cup. He spits it out. The image fades away to just a blue screen as the music ends]

[Credits begin to roll under the title “Scott The Woz”, “Episodes 1-199” to Madden on the Rocks]

[“THANK YOU” fades in]

[The screen fades to black]

[End.]

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Trivia

 * There are countless references in Borderline Forever.
 * Scott owns physical VHS tapes played in older videos. These include Just Ask Scott, Give a F*ck Productions E3, Water Z EX+ Promotional Video, The Internet and You, Marketing: I Can Sell Deception, and Wii Chess Promotional Video.
 * On Scott's VHS tape recorder and TV is a Captain Marvel T-Shirt, A strange Wii Remote, Hairdryer Box, The Dark Age of Nintendo Games, Call of Duty Cantine, a Game Genie manual, Dick Vitales Awesome Baby College Hoops, Madden 08 Prima Strategy Guide, and Sonic Jam.
 * The same VHS tape recorder can be seen on the Desk from Nintendo Switch Wish List to Nintendo Switch: Three Days In.
 * Scott makes reference to the very first line he ever said in Nintendo Switch Wish List. "The Wii U is about 3 large footsteps away from the grave."
 * Max Payne 3 is a game that Scott has mentioned in some videos that he's never played despite it being in his backlog for the longest. These being Super Mario 3D Land - 3D in 3D and Resident Evil 4 - Tales from the Backlog.
 * Many games are shown in the opening of the VHS tape that have been shown in many videos such as Sonic Mania Plus, Sonic 2 with a Line, Yoshi's Cookie, The Legend of Zelda, Sonic CD, Sonic The Hedgehog, Super Smash Bros, Mario Kart 64, Mario Party, Hatris, and others.
 * Scott finally boots up Dino Riki in the VHS, but just talks about, rather than playing it, as he notes in the tape when explaining how to talk about video games.
 * For the "How to Talk about Video Games" VHS tape he wrote over a tape called "Security Tape: Proves Scott's Innocence" which would likely refer to the security cameras during the Great Mysteries of Gaming.
 * When Scott leaves his house he is wearing the same outfit from Limited Edition Consoles.
 * Scott has many Wii Play copies that have remained since the failed Wii Play Project.
 * During "Stupid Nintendo Games," Scott shows many games that he has either made videos on or talked about in videos. These include (In order of appearance) Mega Man Legacy Collection Collectors Edition for 3DS, Player's Choice Gamecube Games, Star Fox Zero, Super Smash Bros for 3DS, Preview Disc 5 Playable Demos, Perfect Dark N64, We Dare, 64DD game, Mighty No. 9, Wii Chess, Tetris + Dr. Mario, Battle Chess, Super Smash Bros Wii U Collector's Edition, 6-Pak, Donkey Kong Barrel Blast, Gubble, Wii Play Motion, Geist, Tetris 2, Nigel Mansell's World Championship Racing, Club House Games 51 Worldwide Classics, Ring King, Wheel of Fortune NES with Game Genie, Mario Kart 7, Chibi-Robo Zip Lash, Tetris Attack, Super Mario Kart, Frogger SNES, Devil's Third, Nintendo World Championship 1990 Reproduction, Final Fantasy NES, and too many to count towards the end
 * He has a few other Reappearing items in the song like the Wii Car AC Adapter, Yellow Mario Maker 2DS, and Many Wii U's
 * Scott goes on Tinder and scrolls through a big list that says "Fat Tuesday is coming up."
 * He changes outfits mid-song into the same one he wore for The Guy Game.
 * Scott spins a wheel that only says "L Button" on it as a reference to Instruction Manuals.
 * At the end of the song it cuts to Scott saying "Who wants to compare pens" while holding a Nintendo DS Stylus. On the Idea Wheel in Instruction Manuals, it shows one idea that says "Nintendo DS Stylus" so he finally talked about another idea on the Idea Wheel.
 * When Scott says that Super Mario Bros 2 is such a funny wet fart of a game, he is referencing when he said that exact line while playing Mario 2 in a livestream for Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: The Game and More with Shesez. It was originally filmed on January 14th, 2021 and is reuploaded on Scott's Stash.
 * On Scott's last will and testament it says his full name being Scott "Will Eventually Take a Look at the First Mega Man" Wozniak. This is still a working title.
 * Ghostbusters is shown, and is one of Scott Wozniak's first NES games.
 * Where's Waldo NES has a flick wound shown in Used Games.
 * Scott complains about the NES controller for a bit because of the button placement.
 * Family Feud is one of Scott's favorite SNES games for some reason.
 * When Scott sees someone in trial for preferring the Super Nintendo version of Punch-Out, he wears the same outfit he did for The Trial.
 * In Super Mario World Scott remembers the map eventually telling you to go f*ck yourself because it splits off and doesn't let you progress.
 * Scott complains about the Super Nintendo boxes for a bit.
 * Scott mentions that he has a whole room for just Glover.
 * Scott says the Gameboy Color is a full successor to the original Gameboy. He'll admit it's not a full sucsessor when he finishes the Minish Cap for Gameboy Advance, but he died before he beat it.
 * The Gamecube is Scott's favorite game console.
 * Scott shows one of his only cheat devices, the Action Replay disc. It then shows the exact same footage of Mario Sunshine crashing from Cheat Codes.
 * Super Mario Galaxy is mentioned as Scott's favorite video game.
 * When Scott is talking about Mario Galaxy he says, "I'm sure by the time It's 20 and I'm battling some fun new disease, it will still be." Super Mario Galaxy was released in 2007, and when it turns 20 years old the year would be 2027, the year where Scott wears a chef hat and Robo-Ebola reigns supreme.
 * When going through some casual WIi Games, Scott mentions Wii Music and calls it "trauma."
 * Scott mentions the Wii's amount of shovelware, and foreshadows that they might be useful later. This would eventually result in the creation of the Wii Game Ship.
 * Many games are listed during the Dark Age of Nintendo that weren't that good or reused assets. Scott mentions Metroid Prime Federation Force, Mario Party the Top 100, Triforce Heroes, Mario Sports Superstars, Yoshi's New Island, Paper Mario Sticker Star, and Hey Pikmin.
 * The Wii U Microphone was used for only 3 games and was a gag in New Play Control! for Wii.
 * Scott questions why his copy of FlingSmash is wet as first introduced in The Legend of Zelda (NES) - Takes from the Backlog. He also questions why Donkey Kong: Barrel Blast Repels Virginity as introduces in Viral Games.
 * Scott looks through a book full of every single past Scott the Woz episode as he's wondering if the blue border has always been there.
 * At the end of Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash, Jerry Attricks thinks he's going to start his own therapy business and call it The Think Barrel. When Scott calls Jerry for another therapy session, it shows the Think Barrel finally created and shown for the first time.
 * The door to his bedroom has two signs one saying You're Entering The Mushroom Gorge, and the other saying No Sex Allowed.
 * When Jerry is in Scott's bedroom he says, "Nice bed, those pillows real?" This is a callback to Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash where when he entered Scott's house he said, "Nice place, this your couch?"
 * The exact same frying pan sound effect is used from Virtual Boy: I've Seen Better.
 * Scott enters his brain and says "it looks fine." He got the patent to use this phrase in E3 2019.
 * While Scott enters his brain it shows a bunch of memories from past episodes. These include Old Series, New Developer, Viral Games, Definitive Editions, The WiiWare Chronicles 3, The Art of Box Art, Anime Games, Game Stores, The Guy Game, Instruction Manuals, A Very Madden 08 Christmas, The Great Mysteries of Gaming, and How to Successfully Fail as a Video Game Studio.
 * Scott holds up a copy of Brink which has shown up in a few episodes.
 * During Closing in, Scott says "and it ends with a game on PS3, which refers to the game 3D Dot Game Heroes as the song Breakout has been used as the outro for every Scott the Woz video.
 * During the next line, Scott takes the copy of Madden NFL 08 in the Space Time Continuum-proof baggie from Episode 100: It's Awesome Baby! out of the drawer
 * During Closing in, there are many episodes playing in the background surrounding Scott. These include Nintendo Switch Wish List, Nintendo Switch Presentation 2017, Physical vs. Digital Games, Stop Smoking!, To Milk a Franchise, E3 1998, Wii Music - Ten Years of Terror, Night Trap, Nintendo Switch: Two Years in, Console Games on Mobile, A Look Back at Virtual Console, Mario Kart DS - On the Road Again, Game Collecting, Remakes, Remasters and Rereleases, Game Compilations Compilation Vol. 2, Pre-Orders,
 * Later in the song even more videos appear such as Nintendo Switch Wish List, A Look Back at the Nintendo 3DS, Definitive Editions, GameCube was Best, Fixing the Worst Game Trailers, Ranking the Final Smashes, A Look Back at E3 Rumors, E3 2017, Super Mario 3D World - A Critical Second Look, Most Wanted Smash Bros. Stages, Gaming on a Budget, Gravity Rush - Tales from the Backlog, Game Consoles That Refused to Die, Sonic the Hedgehog (1991) - Birth of a Laughing Stock, The Rise and Fall and Rise of Amiibo, The Best Games of All Time, NES and SNES Classic Edition Alternatives, E3 1996, A Console's Last Game, The Wii: Underpowered Yet Underrated, Polybius, Super Mario Galaxy - Ten Years of Bliss, Black Friday, Call of Duty on Wii, Lost in Localization, A Very Madden 08 Christmas, E3 1997, Cancelled Game Consoles, Demo Discs, The Great Mysteries of Gaming, Reboots,
 * When Scott is in the hospital, Rex Mohs shows up and says "When I heard you were in the hospital, I dropped everything and came straight here" while he's wearing a hospital gown. This is a callback to Speed Dating where he dropped everything to help Scott get laid.
 * Scott is talking to Terry Lesler and wonders if he just wants to gut a duck sometime.
 * Jeb Jab wants to stop being vegan because he ate a corn dog.
 * Scott bands together Team F*cked to stop the blue border. This team name was first created during The WiiWare Chronicles.
 * Before entering Throats for Thought, Scott and Rex are behind the same red curtains as in It's Awesome Baby!
 * During the news broadcast, the header at the bottom says a lot of interesting stuff. "Tonight at 9 PM EST Only on 9 News - Hair - The Next Big Fad? - Tonight at 9 PM AST Only on 9 News - Dogs: Should They Be Trusted? - Tonight at 9 PM CST Only on 9 News - Sequel to Cats announced: Dogs the Meow-sical - Tonight at 9 PM PST Only on 9 News - Sequel to Cats Sequel Announced: Beavers the Dam-sical - Tonight at 9 PM MST Only on 9 News - Sequel to Cats Sequel to Cats Sequel Announced: Snakes - Tonight at 9 PM AKST Only on 9 News - 22 Sequels to Snakes Announced - Tonight at 9 PM HST Only on 9 News - New Color Announced. "It Was Only a Matter of Time" Says Christ - Tonight at 9 PM HST Only on 9 News - Apple Announces New iMac That Doesn't Crash Leading to Video Editors Nearly Losing Month's of Work, Releasing After All Video Editors Die - Tonight at 9 PM EST Only on 9 News - New Streaming Service Announced, Nobody's Excited - Tonight at 9 PM AST Only on 9 News - Pens: The Next Big Thing? - Tonight at 9 PM MST Only on 9 News - The Phrase "Eat My Ass Leviathan"...Where Does It Come From? Tonight at 9 PM CST Only on 9 News - Drugs: Our Last Hope?
 * Before taking off in the Wii Game Ship Scott sets his Tinder radius to 50 miles and beyond.
 * When a leak enters the Wii Game Ship, Terry Lesler asks Scott if it was Hey All, or Hey Y'all, which was a question Scott got asked constantly.
 * "No, it's Gex" is a reference to The Trial when Jeb Jab is shown a gun by Liza Lotts and he thinks it's Gex.
 * When Brett Favre says that he's tired of Madden 08 fans, Jeb says that he's more of a Madden 09 guy which is from A Very Madden 08 Christmas.
 * After defeating the blue border, Rex shows up with some Raid.
 * Scott mentions how the Border might shrink overtime, as it did already. The border was really big from Nintendo Switch Wish List until A Very Madden 08 Christmas, and shrunk in size from Player's Choice to present day.
 * Scott adds Madden 08 in Spanish for Playstation 2 and Xbox 360 to his Desk.
 * (WIP) For the End Screen, animations of past Scott The Woz videos are shown. These include Nintendo Switch Wish List (Throwing Wii U out the Window), Tinder, Memory Cards (Terry Lelser cutting a pumpkin out of a tree), Personal Trainer: Cooking (Throwing a Rotisserie Chicken at the guests), It's Awesome Baby! (Sam Joe and Dom doing their hand movements and saying Dick Vitale quotes), Homecoming (Rex Mohs breaking a Macbook), Animal Crossing: amiibo Festival - The Dark Age of Nintendo (Jerry Attricks yelling at a mirror), A Look Back at Virtual Console (Scott interviewing a man about Yoshi's Cookie), The Trial, The WiiWare Chronicles, (Scott running with a Wii full of WiiWare games), Game Stores (Chet Shaft yelling at Scott at Games on a Shelf), A Very Madden 08 Christmas (Scott playing Madden 08 in front of the Vegans Anonymous Gathering), The Bible Game (Scott singing the Bible Game Gospel while an unknown backflipper fails his backflip), NES and SNES Classic Alternatives (Scott changing his entire display setup), Most Wanted Nintendo Switch Games (Scott Throwing his Wii U out of his car), Game Consoles that Refused to Die (Scott hammering a Playstation 2), Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash - The Darkest Age of Nintendo (Jeb Jab and Jerry Attricks getting eaten by the Unkown Sewer Monster), Super Smash Bros. Brawl - The Worst One, Apparently (Scott exploding a can reacting to Sonic's reveal), Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash - The Darker Age of Nintendo (Rex Mohs smashing a Wii Remote on the ground), It's a Bargain Bin Christmas (Murder Victims enjoying to the games Scott gave them), Resident Evil 4 - Tales From the Backlog (Scott wondering if he should play Resident Evil 4 or the Hamburger Helper Beef Pasta), The Worst Games of All Time (Scott screaming while pouring milk), When Gimmicks go Too Far (Scott controlling his spaceship), Midnight Releases (Scott reading fish maps while camping out), Physical vs. Digital Games, Speed Dating (The gang yelling at Scott's date because they aren't ready yet), Anime Games (Scott summoning Mighty Number 9), Fitness Games (Scott using a fan to hold his Wii Remote), EyeToy for PlayStation 2 (Someone trying to rob Scott's house but they notice he has an EyeToy), Game Foods (Scott buying a bunch of chips ahoy bags), Wii Music - Ten Years of Terror (Scott playing a song with a tambourine and spitting out water), We Dare (Wii) (Scott beating the stripping mini-game by throwing a watermelon), Devil's Third - Nintendo's Adopted Abomination (Scott looking at Yup, It's A Good Game and seeing it turn into Devil's Third), Mario Party (N64) - Party Hard (Scott plays and hosts a party with the unnamed Wario and Luigi players), Demo Discs (Scott breaking eggs and then putting them back in the carton), Super Mario 3D World - A Critical Second Look (Scott setting the copy next to a post and running away from it), Console Launches (Scott accidentally throwing away his first edition Playstation Vita Bundle), Gravity Rush - Tales from the Backlog (Scott spinning a sign saying "I have gravity rush remastered, honk if you agree" while a car honks and he does the O face), The Rarest of Games (Scott holding up Sonic 2 with a line), Game Controllers (Scott coming back from a how to overcome control issues meeting with a bunch of game controllers), Desert Island Gaming (Scott looks in his backpack to see what he brought but he only brought Brink), Polybius (Scott fighting the Polybius arcade machine), Third Party Controllers (Scott finds out that the Mad Catz life support machine was actually a bread box), From Reveal to Release (Scott stand in front of Burger King saying that he ate there), New Super Mario Bros. (Series) - What's New is Old (Scott spits out old milk)
 * Originally, the video included a cameo from fellow YouTuber RelaxAlax, although it was later cut from the video, persumably due to controversy surrounding him.
 * Borderline Forever has the highest IMDB score of any Scott the Woz episode currently, this being a 9.9.
 * Wozniak has stated that he originally wanted the episode to be released in 2020 as the Season Four finale, but time constraints meant that this was not possible, thus the episode was delayed into Season Five and You're Not an RPG Guy was the season four finale instead.
 * The description during the premiere was originally the same with the only difference being "Thank you for 200 episodes!" instead of "Thank you all for watching!"
 * There's a plot hole where the trap of printer ink isn't censored, but Wozniak states in Cancelled Games, "For Christ sake, I blur out my Inkjet Numbers!"